Making efforts...

When you think you can't do anymore, do more. I'm trying to stretch what I can, more and more so everyday. The toll of my past lingers over me and I have to remind myself that I cannot let it take me down. Every day, some where, some one else has a worser fight than me. Every day, some where, some one else has no time, no energy, no money but yet they make it work. If they can, so can I. I use to have so much more fight in me. So competitive that it drove me to be more than I thought I was capable. I wonder where that girl went...I've learned to settle more. It's good in certain situations but not always good in general. It's funny trying to learn to let things go, in the process it's left me to be lethargic, lazy, and settling. I'm totally living through my blogs these days...trying to motivate the sporty girl in me...the fashionista in me...the crafty girl in me...the girl who wants to travel more. I'm tired of all the looks and the talk...the comparisons. Shit, I was content with how my life is, why do you have to question it? I'm tired of having to try and live up to others expectations these days...like everything I have accomplished and possess these days are just not good enough. Shit, it's more than you can say at the moment. Ugh, really, you all don't understand how stressing you guys are on me. I get pulled in different directions. AND YES, I have tried so hard to not be involved as much as I do but guess what, I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. Stress is not good on anyone's body, especially mine considering my condition already gives me a hard time in losing weight. Damned if I do, Damned if I don't. It gets harder these days trying to find more outlets...frustrations are growing and it's hard not having the usual suspects to run to. Enough with the complaining, Sheena...just push through. Time to move on once again.