An interesting fact I learned today...

Rose and I were driving home from the supermarket and we learned of something interesting on the radio:

FACT: Around the world, 200 million couples have sex on a daily basis...
That's 400 million people...EVERYDAY!

That's a lot of people...and that's a lot sex...

I'm not a part of that 400 million people...

hehe ARE U?

"Missions in Life Have Blueprints in Heaven

In the pre-mortal world we knew about and even chose our missions in life...our stations in life are based upon the objectives of those missions. Through divine knowledge we knew what many of ourt tests and experiences would be, and we prepared accordingly...we came as volunters, each eager to learn and experience all that God had created for us.
~Embraced By the Light (48-49)

all things work together for good to tehm that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
~Romans 8:28

Thank you, Father, for guiging me back when I stray from the mission you chose for me. Thank you for blessing me with the strength and fortitude as I struggle to endure life to its end.

Affirmation: My life is laid out by my Creator, and my spirit follows his perfect plan."

Some people don't understand my stand point...I guess it should work that way cuz I forget to see things from ur standpoint too...Understand that I'm here to try and make a difference. That's all I care about...is if I could make a good change in ur life or some kind of lasting impression then I've been good to u...

Understand that there are those certain people who touch my heart and make me a better person...I love u guys for that...seriously...I haven't been myself in the past couple of months...i've been searching to find myself and only recently have I been slowly finding my way back again.

Don't be mad at me if I've been distant lately...it's finals...they do crazy things to me...hehe

Is it wrong to want things now?

"person who made me smile: mylove: 'but i mean.. i think you're a person whom i will look back to when i grow older and remember.'"
Taken from Dinh's profile

When u look back upon ur life, how many people do u remember changed ur life? How many can u say connected with u on a level u can't even describe and pushed u to be a better person? I bet u can remember how many faces in ur past are only that...just faces...

For some reason I can't shake this feeling inside that someone's holding something back from me...or maybe I'm holding it back from myself...God knows. But I can't shake that feeling.

a million thoughts have been running through my head and I can't seem to concentrate on a single thing...I just keep thinking.

I'm looking back and remembering how things use to be so easy for me...I liked someone, they liked me back...we hook up...and then that's when i get to know them...but it's too late by then, U realize u are incompatible...and all u can do is be friends...JUST FRIENDS...and even then, that's hard. U cross that line of friendship and everything changes. U wish u could go back and just not cross that line but it's too late. the sad part is u lose more than just a significant other, u lose ur friend. I try to make it a point to be friends with all my exes...some cuz I never got to know them before we got together and others because that was all we could be to one another. I don't care how badly u may have hurt me, but the least we can be is friends because I know u are in my life for a reason...everything happens for a reason...it wasn't all for not. It hurts so much more when I know how close I am to that person...because u look at them differently...things work out...things don't work out...that's just how it is.

There's something inside of me right now that still has that impatience that wants everything now and then there's that part of me that has matured and say, wait things out...whatever will happen, will happen. It's hard when u have so much to give and no one to give it to. I'm waiting, just waiting for that one...who just knows what I'm thinking...what I've been thru...what it is that makes me smile.

I remember my first kiss...it was taken from me...I was 14...it was right after my first track meet in high school. We had just returned from Claremont High School...I was proud of myself cuz I didn't do too badly for my first try. and there he was, Hugo Flores...he swooped in and just went for it...and I freaked out. hehe I rememer, he looked at me and said, "will u be with me?" and I started laughing and said, "No!" I turned and started for home...I didn't mean to be mean but I never kissed anyone before...I didn't know what to do...I didn't mean to laugh...it just came out.

I remember when Mike and I got together...I cared for him more than anything. I hated being so sheltered...I never was able to let the relationship grow...it died before it even started but it didn't stop me from falling in love for the first time. I thought Mike was the one...we were on and off and on and off...it took me forever to let him go...it took me forever to stop comparing everyone to him...I thought u were the one...my earth shattered when i knew it was over...

then I met _____ in college and he became my closest guy friend...then it happened...we crossed that line of friendship and I haven't been able to turn my back on that...U were my best guy friend...and the fact that we weren't in the same place in our lives when everything else seemed so right between us just killed me...u saw me as a friend but I didn't know if I could look at u that same way...now, I have to accept it since it's the only way u'd be in my life...i didn't want to lose u...I couldn't lose u cuz u meant so much to me...u knew so much...i needed u to still be there for me...and u are...so i guess it sorta worked out...

Ron couldn't love me the way I needed to be loved...I just can't shake that feeling that he can't be real with me...he can't just hide things from me...U just can't say nothing to me and expect me to not wanna know why u can't answer the question...u taught me to love again...u taught me to be patient...u taught me that not everything ends like it does in the movies...u gave me hope...

Now, I'm mixed in some feelings that I'm trying to sort out...it's hard because I don't know how to sort these feelings out right now...I wanna turn to you, ____ to help me...I just can't find the words. I'm hopeful though...not trying to expect anything when it comes to a relationship. I'm trying to let things happen as they happen...it's hard not to expect the worse though...cuz if u expect the worse, u can't really be disappointed, right? I don't know...In the meanwhile, I'm having fun spending it with new people and spending it with people I'm getting to know and they are getting to know me...Helping me be a better person...or at least try and be back to that happy go lucky Sheena that I remember from a long time ago. I remember...

help me remember...

Song of the moment: Musiq "half crazy"

listen to the words and I think u'll get it...=S

For an American Lit & Culture major u'd think i'd be able to find words to articulate myself...
I guess with all my happiness lately I just can't seem to find the words to describe all this fun and joy. It is really all very ineffable for me. I love how things are going...just wish all this stuff wasn't happening during finals week...then I'd really enjoy this all...*sigh*

Good times, can't complain...what else is there to do in life but to love and be loved? YEAH!!! hehehe