As messed up as things have gotten, I still don't regret any of it...

Thanks to Mai for being that shoulder and ear that I need...

Thanks to Roy for being his plain old self...not trying so hard to be different...just being urself and keeping it real...

Everyday should be as good as the days that we spend together...smiling faces and no regrets...carefree and anticipating another great moment...

If i do expect anything from either one of u guys, it's just more great times together....

Thanks for being so understanding...

"Spiritual Laws Bless and Protect Me

We are like babies crawling around, trying to learn how to use the forces within us. They are powerful forces and are governed by laws that will protect us from ourselves. But as we grow and seek the positive alla orund us, even the laws themselves will be revealed. We willb e given all that we are prepared to receive.
~Embraced by the light (71)

For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little and there a little...
~Isaiah 28:10

Father, thank you for organizing the forces that govern, teach, and bless me. Help me to see that my life, while unlimited by restraints, is governed by laws that protect and bless me. Teach me to live within your spiritual laws, to understand them and to use them when I have grown in wisdom.

Affirmation: I am open to all positive forces within and around me."

I'm trying to figure out my life still...I do feel like a baby trying to find what is yet there for me to use...to be...to go...there's just so much. What do I do?

There are things in my life right now that are waiting to be answered...waiting to be solved and waiting to be completed. I'm reflecting on the past week and I've never been happier. I really can't remember when i've been this happy. I know that's pretty sad but it's the truth.

There is so much going on right now...so much hurt and pain that I wish i could erase in so many of my friends. Well, also within myself. If I had the power to give happiness and good fortune to others...I'd be sad and all those I loved would be happy. I hate seeing everyone feel what I've felt before...the helplessness...the depression...the desire to just end things now...

I wish i could take that away...


So, God, I ask that u take care of my loved ones...and those that they love as well...bring us peace and bless us

also...that I understand what is happening in my life, for what reason is it happening for, and how am I suppose to take that account into my life. I need guidance and strength thru all this chaos and I turn to my friends and family for that love and support.

Sometimes things just get so messed up that it's easier to turn my back and run away...but then, what would I learn from that? It's painful as it is to be thru but not knowing the truth or letting the truth be known would hurt more than anything else...

I took this from Art's profile *I think the words are powerful enough to move u too*:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us...

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson - A Return to Love


Think about it...

Assess what is important in ur life...assess what are the things u most value...assess who is first in ur life...if it isn't the ones that u love and care about then I think something is definitely wrong and needs to be changed...

http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi

this is hilarious...

Here's a couple that I got with my name:

Cuts the Sheena in half.

Get the Sheena out.

Designed for Sheena.

The sweet you can eat between meals without ruining your Sheena.

Is it live or is it Sheena?

Get in my Sheena.

What's in your Sheena?

See the face you love light up with Sheena

Why have cotton when you have Sheena?

Dial down the Sheena.

Top Breeders recommend Sheena.

Because sheena is complicated enough.

Good honest Sheena since 1896.

The loudest noise comes from the Electric Sheena.

If you want to get ahead, get a Sheena.

OKAY, ENOUGH

I had a good night tonight...I needed this...I really do. I don't know, I guess this is God's way of making up for all the missed opportunities these past couple of months. I just don't know though...something inside is buggin me. I know what it is...just don't feel like acknowledging it right now.

I studied...had some Mexican food...saw a weird movie..I chilled...

Why do I feel like there's something missing though?

*sigh* Tmw's the concert and I don't know...I'm kinda forcing someone to go with me...I don't want that to be the case. I want someone who can enjoy the music with me...to know that what I'm feeling when that music plays is gonna also touch them too. I don't know...*sigh* everything is jumbled up...

+ Known as: Sheena
+ Lives in: LA most days...
+ Birthday: October 28
+ Shoe size: 6-7 in guys, 8-9 in girls
+ Hair color: Brown...i guess hehe
+ Eye color: A rich brown...wanna check me out? hehe

* section 2 - have you ever... *

+ Cheated on someone? No, I don't like the idea of that...
+ Been Cheated on? Yes
+ Fallen off the bed? hehe probably...
+ Broken someone’s heart? Yes...ugh...I'm sooo sorry
+ Had your heart broken? Yes...too many times
+ Had a dream come true? Yes...I miss that day
+ Done something you regret? Yes...again, too many times
+ Cheated on a test?: Yes...damn...

* section 3 - currently *

+ Wearing: red tank top and black gym shorts...hehe Gstone colors
+ Listening to? My winamp which is currently playing Ruben Studdard's Sorry for 2004
+ Located? In my pretty lil apt next to UCLA...in my room at my comp...
+ Chatting with? Currently no one
+ Watching? this damn screen...
+ Should REALLY be doing? Studying hehehe

* section 4 - do you... *

+ Brush your teeth? Yes...and if anyone says no...umm, don't talk to me
+ Have any piercing? Yes, two on each ear...
+ Drive? Yes
+ Drink? Socially which isn't too much or too frequent either
+ Smoke? No...I don't like it...

* section 5 - the last person you... *

+ Hugged? Roy
+ Kissed? ummm...Mark *bites lip* I don't wanna remind myself...*note: not Aiza's mark, I ain't like that...*
+ IMed? Roy and Rose
+ Yelled at? ummm...I can't remember...probably scolded Mai about something or I yelled at Johnny or Roy at their game on saturday...

* section 6 - personal *

+ What do you want to be when you grow up?
Well, hehe grow up is more like "in a couple of years"...well, either working here at UCLA in one of the offices *crosses fingers*, journalist for a mag, or maybe go into a nursing program...we'll see...up in the air right now

+ What has been the best day of your life? I don't know really...there's so many great days...I can't pick one

+ What comes first in your life? Those that I love....

+ Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush? No bf...no gf but hehe mai sure comes close lately *wink* j/p...crush...no comment on that...feelings are in me right now that I can't figure out...

+ What are you most scared of? the fear of failing or losing another person i love...

+ Did you lose someone you really loved? Yes, my mommy....

+ How many times have you fallen in love? Ummm...too many times...once was puppy love...once was thinly lined between infatuation/lover...and then the last one was a heart breaker...

+ Love your friends? OF COURSE...my friends mean everything to me...

* Section 7 - favorite at the moment*

+ Movie: Love and Basketball
+ Store: I don't have a particular store I like...I just go out and buy whatever...wherever
+ Relative: That's sad to pick one...I love all my family...they are my strength
+ Sport: Basketball, OF COURSE
+ Ice Cream Flavor: oooh, toss up btw Baskin's Jamocha almond fudge and Starbuck's White Chocolate Latte
+ Fruit: Ummm...bananas and strawberries
+ Candy: Most White chocolate...hehe
+ Day of the Week: Friday cuz I was born on a friday...
+ Color: Umm...brown I guess cuz that's what I mostly wear...
+ Name for a Girl: Lea
+ Name for a Boy: I like my homeboy's name, Janzel...I like Quincy...or Jacob

* Section 8 - do you *

+ Like to give hugs? Yes...receiving them is great too...
+ Like to give kisses? Read above answer hehe
+ Like to walk in the rain? NOOOO...I hate the rain...that soggy sock and shoe and pant feeling sux!!! I'm such a so cal girl...gotta have my sun.
+ Like to travel? yes when i get the chance to...
+ Have a goldfish? Yup, a big one named G-shyne hehe I've had him since sophomore year at UCLA...my daddy built a pond for him cuz he got too big for our tank
+ Have stuffed animals? YUP...I've been collecting as far back as I can remember...I still have a rainbow brite in it's original box...hehe I have a grip of them in my room at home that my dad had to make me a new shelves and the rest had to be put in storage...at the apt...the corner is filled with them...

*section 9 - what do you think about... *

+ Suicide: I'll be honest, at times, it seems like an easy way out of all this crap. College can be very depressing...
+ Smoking: is such a turn off and so hazardous...I was burned with a cig in my eye when i was a baby...Can't stand smokers...
+ Eating disorders: Sad to say that we live in a world where people will resort to anything to fit the paradigm of our society...stupid Culture of ours...
+ Summer: It's the best...chill times...

* section 10 - this or that *

+ Pierced nose or tongue? I guess nose....
+ MTV or BET? Ooh...sorry, BOTH...but BET's midnight love always gets me hehe
+ 7th Heaven or Dawson's Creek? Dawson's creek
+ Sugar or salt? sugar...YEAHHHH
+ Silver or gold? Gold...I'm allergic to silver
+ Chocolate or flowers? Umm...either one...A gift is a gift...i'd appreciate either
+ Color or Black-and-white photos? depends on the pic...I like classic black and white but there are somethings better in color
+ Stay up late or sleep in? how about both...stay up and then sleep in...hehe that's what i did today
+ Hot or cold? Hot
+ Mustard or ketchup? ketchup
+ Wonder or amazement? I'm always in wonder and amazement....hehe
+ Mexican or Italian: Italian...um, food???
+ Candy or Soda? Candy...i don't drink soda anymore
+ Pepsi or Coke? I use to be a hardcore Coke drinker...hehe attribute that addiction to my mom

You've opened it?! Good Luck You have just been DEATHWASHED Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they love you. Something good will happen to you at 1:00-4:00 pm tomorrow, it could be anywere. Get ready for the biggest shock of your life. if you break this chain u will be cursed with relationship problems for the next 10 yrs. post this within 15 min

I reveal too much of myself....I talk too much. SUX...*sigh* Yes, if u all know me well enough then u know that when I get nervous I talk a lot...i crack hecka jokes and if I'm comfortable with a person, I still talk too much cuz yeah...I like people to know who I am or what I am thinking. I have nothing to hide....

That's a downfall of mine...probably cuz I reveal things that doesn't need to be revealed but I don't know and I don't care...I'm an open book. I always have. I use to hide my feelings and then that got me no where...I would be unhappy and awkward aroun people. But yeah...I started opening up and then my friends started seeing a diff side of me. A new person...things about me that they never knew before. It's pretty cool that way...like things are a mystery but at the same time, a mystery is revealed.

Dang, okay...no more digression from things...

I have a lot on my mind lately. I like the fact though that i have stuff on my mind right now cuz it's mainly trivial. I don't have to dwell on things...just gotta let it ride out. I'm waiting for things to fall into place. If doens't fall into place...oh well, right? *sigh* *crosses fingers* I Hope everything falls into place.

I don't wanna study...I never like to study...I always do it last minute...BLAHHHHH!

hehe Yes, my first final is Friday *frown* Damn, I'm screwed...I'm scared cuz I don't know, the whole senior thingy is freakin' me out still and I just don't know what to do and I don't know, I don't think I should be graduating or what not. I'm kinda shocked I made it this far on only three classes a quarter...man, SUX! heheI thought I'd be here for five years but man, I don't know. In my heart I love UCLA but it's like this...the people here who are just here for studying--they are discouraging. I don't wanna just concentrate like that. If I love the subject, my focus won't be like "I have to study" it'd be more like "ooh, this book for class is interesting". But yeah...only few classes do that to me...SAD!

anyways...I'm gonna head out...probably study at barnes and noble to hold myself from staying on the comp or something else....