Ooh yeah
JE y'all
Check it
I'mma send this song out to my dad
Cause uh, one day I came to him
And told him - how I was feeling about this girl
He told me he used to write poetry
So I'mma try to poetically explain how I feel

Girl you know that you're the apple of my eye
To me you're like the cherry in my cherry pie
I'll wake up early like the sunrise
To be there for you when you wake up, oh yeah
And I, I can't seem to get you off my mind
Cause since the day we met I've been on cloud nine
I think that's why I didn't recognize
I wasn't putting in enough time

I'm nothing without you
Like a fire with no flame, girl it's all you
I can hardly maintain
You with no me, the earth with no sea
The birds with no bees
That's the way I'm gonna be
    
Nothing without you
Like a fire with no flame, girl it's all you
I can hardly maintain
You with no me, the earth with no sea
The birds with no bees
That's the way I'm gonna be, without you oh

You're just like a doctor that wouldn't work
I feel more like a fighter cause you made me hurt
Cause I know all things ain't perfect
But in my heart you're worth it
I hope you change your mind
Cause I'm worthless
Like a football player put in overtime
Knowing you ain't happy, wanna know just why
Can we have a chance girl?
I'm bringing romance girl

I'm nothing without you
Like a fire with no flame, girl it's all you
I can hardly maintain
You with no me, the earth with no sea
The birds with no bees
That's the way I'm gonna be
    
Nothing without you
Like a fire with no flame, girl it's all you
I can hardly maintain
You with no me, the earth with no sea
The birds with no bees
That's the way I'm gonna be, without you oh

Ooh baby don't you leave
Cause I'mma try my best to be
Everything that you might need
Tell me baby why'd you leave
Ooh baby don't you leave
Said I don't know anything
Just another young fella from the street
Now I can believe

Ooh baby don't you leave
Cause I'mma try my best to be
Everything that you might need
Tell me baby why'd you leave
Ooh baby don't you leave
Said I don't know anything
Just another young fella from the street
Now I can believe

I'm nothing without you
Like a fire with no flame, girl it's all you
I can hardly maintain
You with no me, the earth with no sea
The birds with no bees
That's the way I'm gonna be
    
Nothing without you
Like a fire with no flame, girl it's all you
I can hardly maintain
You with no me, the earth with no sea
The birds with no bees
That's the way I'm gonna be, without you oh

~Jagged Edge, Nothing without you

Right now, that's what I feel like...like I'm nothing without you.  You're bringing those sunny days and I ain't even trippin about it...just trippin on you

*smile*

"For Men Only

Men often ask us, "Is there any way to tell that a woman is going to ditch me?" Yes. In fact, there are a number of universal warning signs.

• At parties, she flirts blatantly with all your friends--but treats you like her brother
• She stops sleeping in the nude--and starts coming to bed dressed as though she's heading off on an Arctic trek: thicksocks, sweatpants, huge T-shirts
• When you try to surprise her with a special romantic weekend, she says, "This is really very inconvenient for me."
• When she introduces you to other people, she seems none too eager to reveal the fact that you're her boyfriend
• She takes a sudden, intense interest in her appearance, and rushes out to buy a slew of body-hugging clothes--which, oddly enough, she wears only on her "girs' nights out," which are now occurring three times a week
• When you come back from a ten-day trip, she says, "Back already?"
• You found this book on her bedside table--and the worksheet was filled out"

~Excerpt from the Appendix of the "How to Dump a Guy, A coward's Manual" by Kate FIllion & Ellen Ladowsky

=P I bought the book for Mai-Mai hehe =)

"Be a lie that I never thought of death, my niggers be the last ones left...life goes on"

Do you ever worry about your friend's well-being? Do you take the time to look into someone's eyes and realize that they are crying out to you for help?

What do you do?

What happens when, for once, you are speechlesss...you have nothing to offer...
What do you say then?

I could only remember being in that position...but there's that faith inside that kept me holding on when i didn't feel like it. I found peace and happiness in the least most likely place. Of course it scared me at first but then I realize, what then happens if I do not embrace it? I just hope that this friend of mine is able to find that kind of happiness right now...

The hardest thing to do is let go...especially when u feel that it was unfair. The hardest thing to do is just watch helplessly, unable to do a thing for someone you love. The hardest thing to do is let yourself be happy...

Let go...be happy...do what it takes...no one expects u to care for anyone else if you can't even care for urself...

I envy everyone whose life is making sense...and they are content with that...

I'm trying to see the whole picture right now...it's hard when there are a million other things in your life calling out to you for attention. While trying to have fun these past couple of weeks, I had become very irresponsible. Half the things that I should care about I have come to just shrug off and others, I'm forcing more time into when it needs really very little attention.

I finally spoke with Ron...

yes, finally...and things are so muddled up still. I feel in the dark and I feel like the truth has yet to really come out. All I know was that I was bawling like a baby last night. It hurts when the person you love just can't grasp how hard things have been for you. No matter what they say, they can never truly feel that painful anguish that has occurred to you for so very long. The sad part of all it is that despite it all, even with the feelings emblazed in your heart all this time, you can't turn back to them the same way. Not that easily...you can't see past the hurt they have inflicted on you, whether it was meant to be given or not...it was still inflicted. They can't take back what has happened. That is why time is all for the best...whether liked or not...time needs to pass. I needed this month to myself...to know that I didn't need you to be happy...I just wished all this time that you were somehow a part of that happiness, but you couldn't. You wouldn't let me in your life the way I had let you in mine. It's gonna take a long time for you to gain me back. Even as friends...it's just so hard to look at you knowing how much I was hurting and you didn't do a thing to assuage the situation. You're right...it is all a moot point now. The craziness and the heartaches...you knew none of it. You can't expect me to turn my back on all that...not right now. If you really do love me the way you say you do, then stuff like that just doesn't happen...at least not as much as it did happen.

I appreciate the people who have helped me gain my happiness this past month...especially you, Mai. You're wrong though...I'm not as strong as you think I am...I just can't see myself hurt any longer. Once you can let go enough to let that happiness in, I think things will fall into place. And if he really is meant to be in your life, fate will guide you guys back into one another's lives somehow. Faith...you gotta have the faith...and those endless possibilities...don't ever let them die. Without that hope, where do we really stand in life?

I am: hoping to find happiness soon

i need: to find a happy place

i have: so much love to give but no one to give it to

i wish: I wasn't so hopeless at times

i want: my mom back

i hate: giving everything I have and never feeling that reciprocation

i love: having someone who cares about me *someday*

i always: dream of the possibilities

i never: will find love

i just: can't grasp all the hecticness in my life

i finally: found some contentness these days

i found: that I try to be too much to too many people and they don't understand me at all

i regret: never saying what I wanted to say at the exact moment I wanted to say it to the person I wanted to say it to the very most

i listen: to everyone but let it leak out my head without taking it to heart

i hear: B5's "All I Do" playing on my computer

i see: piles of books that need to be read and a paper that needs to be written

i smell: Victoria Secret's Love spell emitting from my body

i taste: the after taste of some C&O's Linguini con Pollo Marsala

i feel: mixed up inside...waiting for that phone call that seems that will never come

i think: I've been irresponsibile lately but happier than I've been in a while

i did: so little in my life and I gotta live more

i lost: too much of myself

i hope: to be happy one day...truly and ever so rightly HAPPY

i saw: the faces of some good friends tonight at dinner...

i wonder: why I'm so unhappy all the time...

i will: attempt to do my paper soon


I NEED: To stop taking things for granted and to be happy with the loving people in my life

I can't concentrate...

I keep thinking...I need to talk to everyone right now. I need to straighten out things before I can move on with other things. That's hard though cuz some people are the avoiding type. You know...

I'm dreaming of the perfect escape right now. Looking for words that just can't come to me but that can truly explain me. I can't keep using, "I'm lost".

I have dreamt so much lately about what could be. God, if they could only come true...I would be so complete. I would feel so fulfilled that all this shiz wasn't for nothing. I was meant to be here...you know? Searching for answers and finding new questions. Finding everything else. I guess I should be content with all that. It's all good in the end, I shouldn't have to worry...

I had a good night with the girls...a good meal at C&O's and good times. I'm thankful for those nights...happiness, thank you for returning to my life. I've missed you so.

Relationships are so overrated...


hehe yeah...u know it too! There are things about relationships that I have yet to understand but so far, in my own experiences, I feel like I've had a good fair share of the jist. I jump into relationships thinking that I will have time to get to know someone but the problem with that is I shouldn't jump into something unaware of who a person is. You get all these surprises and some good and some bad, you just don't know which. Those relationships ended quickly because I forced things to go quickly when they needed to go slowly and nursed into something beautiful. There are relationships that I made up a person...I see this really great guy but the truth is, they didn't know how to treat me the way I really needed to be treated. I always thought things would work out in the end. Every where else in the world, it was working out that way, but not for me. I fooled myself a lot.

A good friend of mine is going through the troubles that I've been having. I hate to see her in this position because she's had things so much worse than I and she doesn't deserve it. I just hope that she can see that there is so much more in this world...things that, in light of recent events, have shined brightly in my life. She's a good person and I pray that God guides her on the right path. Someone will come into her life and treat her the way that SHE NEEDS TO BE TREATED...the way she DESERVES to be treated. I know how love can be blinding...how feelings get in the way of what you know you have to do. It's the hardest thing, letting go. But you and I both know, you can't fool yourself into believing that happiness is right before you when you know it's all a false lie. Love is a continuous process...it's never done after the initial months...there is no time. Love has to be shown ALL THE TIME. There are no halves on this...it's all or nothing man and no one should settle for less than that. If you are, then that means you aren't fully into this relationship, why fool yourself believing in something you don't fully believe in? I fooled myself for so long but inside I was dying...crying every other night wondering why I'm not loved the way I loved him. No one should feel that way...not you, not me...not anyone. Guys are stupid like that...if they truly loved us, then why couldn't they just show it. Prove that they do love us. Words are one thing, actions are another...you can't contradict the two. You can't do that...you can't hide behind flowery words and believe this crap is real. You've been in love...sometimes love just isn't all that you need, you know? You need that love to shine so bright that you don't have to worry about the lil things...not have to wonder what he's doing or question him. Right? That doubt kills love without you knowing and it's hard...Girl, you know I love you...you have been my strength through this all. I appreciate you...now, if you need me, you know I'm here. This isn't the first time you've gone through crap...girl, I can't promise you that it'll be your last either. You'll find someone...can't guarantee he'll be great either but you will find someone new. Mai, what I propose is, have you found him lately? Just wondering...you find happiness in the oddest places, right? So enjoy what you have right now...don't let the world stop because of this...cuz it's not gonna stop. Please smile and look for the finer things.