I'm just trying to hold on...to my sanity...HELP...please...really! I just wanna curl into a ball and not wake up

You suck! I waited for over an hour outside your apartmet! I even knocked on your door and your homeboys mom said you weren't home. The phone is off the hook and I didn't bring my phone with me cuz u were suppose to be outside!!! You're an ass hole!!! You left me hanging...I was waiting in the cold til someone let me in around 12 something...I went through the alley way and everything to see if I could call you outside...you're probably gonna tell me some bull shit like you fell asleep or something...You're such a bitch! I went to the corner to call your house...asked aiza to check my phone but I didn't get any calls...NONE!!! You never cease to amaze me how you can always leave me hanging! I bet you probably took one look outside and then said oh she isn't here...she's not coming and went to bed. Probably never occurred to you that I lagged my ass off so you could finish your game, chill a bit so I wouldn't be waiting outside like a dumbass for your game to finish! You know what sux is that I went through so much trouble...have I ever stood you up? Never...then why the hell would I say I'm going to pick you up and not come? Did that ever occur to u? Probably not!!! I don't understand why you always stand me up...always say shit you don't mean...My fingers are swollen and it was hard for me to drive...I was in my fucking pjs waiting outside like an ass...outside using the payphone to call you and shit! If you don't call me tomorrow then I'll know that you really didn't care about standing me up tonight...did it ever occur to you how much it hurts when you do this stuff to me? Why do I bother...

Something from Jonny Ngo's page that just hit the spot even more...the date, the thoughts, the feelings...u know how it goes

Thursday, May 06, 2004

[ t i m e i s a n a n g e l . i t f l i e s ]


time has been the topic on everyone's mind...

precious... precious time...
but the truth is... there is never gonna be enough time...
because time moves forward even when you're not ready to...
and time changes... alters... complicates...

and those who think they have all the time in the world...

they just don't realize that there's never enough time...
to say that last goodbye...
to share that special moment...
to say i love you...
to fall in love...
to cherish your friends...
to make a difference...
to be a dorky corny guy like me...
to make you smile...

if i could only have more time...
i would do everything i've never done before...
and then i'll do it all once more...

................

life goal: build time machine... find the perfect moment... and freeze it forever...

Just think about it...I'll let u know my thoughts about this in a while...