when u can't sleep at night u tend to start doing weird stuff on the comp...I decided to try and finish Ron's cd cover but I couldn't find the right pic...instead I ran across this:
15 mistakes guys make when having sex

Written by a Woman

1) COMPLAINING
Guys like it when girlsshow off their nice *bleep*. So, why do guys
complain when a girl is wearing tight pants? As long as they can get their
pants off, I really don`t see a problem. You know you`r gonna get SOME, so just chill out and savor each second.



2)WHEN GIRLS GO DOWN HALF-WAY
Guys try to force a girls head down when she`s simply trying to tease the guy. You know...get MR.HAPPY all the way up before she has to try and suck on
MR.LIMP


3)CHOCKING THE CHICKEN
Why do guys make girls do this 4 them? He can do this at home whenever
he`s NOT getting any, not when he`s about to get the real deal! Remember
guys.... it brings absolutely NO pleasure to us females and we do get bored
with jerking you guys off



4)HAIR PULLING
Yes, it`s true that some females like a little bit of pain, but not when your ripping the hair out of her head! Take it easy.



5)PANTING
During sex we females know that guys do get tired, and we can totally understand this, but why do guys pant like dogs??? Not very attractive!



6)MINUTE MAN
Guys that cannot last for more than 10 minutes. This really disappoints females. Girls need pleasure too! Otherwise, we`ll just forget about sex and stick w/ foreplay!



7)GUYS GOING DOWN
What`s up with the guys eating the hole? Don`t they know that the hole does not bring pleasure and it`s the ####. that does? There`s really no point for a guy to go down at all if he`s gonna play around w/ the hole. That`s like a girl playing w/ your pubic hair(not a turn on)



8)FINGERING
Remember guys, that even though some females do finger themselves, they have smaller fingers then you. Don`t jam your fingers up there. Maybe you
could start off w/ one finger and then slip in another one when she gets looser. And don`t just move it in and out...you have to have rhythm...She`ll thank you ,you`llknow by herconstant breathing (panting) and her withering body convulsing next to yours.



9)WHEN GIRLS TAKE THE RIDE
Don`t complain that a girl is ridding to hard. In fact, don`t say anything. Just relax cuz she`s doing you a favor and she`s doing all the work!



10)###
Some girls are loud when they ###, I know this. But, ome girls have to fake all of the noises because

1) she`s not feeling any pleasure and she doesn`t want the guy to think that he can`t work it (which is actually true)




11) KEEPING FRESH
We all know that guys like sports, but do they have to come over after they just got done playing a game and want sex, or even worse...########? You guys Better go freshin up before expecting anything!



12)ACNE
We all know that everyone has acne, but can`tyou guys try to prevent it on your back? Girls are really turned off when a guy is on top and has to worryaboutgrabbing onto her man`s back that is full of nasty pimples!


13)"TO SPIT OR TO SWALLOW?, THAT IS THE QUESTION"
Don`t get mad if a girl does neither. I mean, a guy`s sperm doesn`t taste good. In fact, it`s repulsive. Forgive her if she finishes the job by hand. If she does spit, be happy enough w/ that.;If she swallows....YOU SHOULD
REALLY LOVE HER! That was really hard for her, I`m sure!



14)TALKIN $HIT
Girls don`t like it when a guy tells all of his friends that he got laid last night& when you guys weremaking love & quot;(as you said that night to the female)



15)BORING
Guys tend to do it the same way every time. Try experimenting w/ different positions every now and then. It couldn`t hurt!

What do u think? Is it true?

Holy thursday...
So I should've known when I went to bed last night that I'd have a bad day today...I went to bed around 4 or 5...woke up at around 9 or so...when I went to hit my alarm I rolled back over and ended up hitting my bed rail...nose bled...went to work...was late...went to tagalog class...felt stupid cuz I didn't know the real tagalog words...went back to work...went to history...left early...went home and ate...left for the SOC game...bought the gatorade before the game...bought me a grande white chocolate mocha...went to the game...saw ron...they lost the game...talked to ron...felt like there was a barrier between us...wanted to just hold him but knew I couldn't...drove home by myself...REAR ENDED...waiting for CHP...CHP bagged on me and UCLA...back hurts now...can't sleep again...*sigh*

I don't have much luck...when I'm down and out...i'm really down and out...*sigh* I'm so pessimistic. On the way home after the accident I saw another accident off of sepulveda and skirball...a car had flipped over...ambulence and fire dept everywhere...
what if that would've been me???

....

I couldn't stop shaking when I got home...i wanted to cry...just let the tears fall...so many questions...I don't think I deserve Ron...I'm a bad person...that's why bad things happen to me...

I'm not one of the lucky ones...i'm meant to be alone...*sigh*...I just wanna go away right now...

Ano nagawa ko para mag-desurb ito?

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
And I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

Some people search for a fountain
The promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them

Hand me a world on a silver platter
And what good would it be?
With no one to share, with no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, you, you

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

If I ain't got you with me baby
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

Real talk. Usher, Just Blaze.

Oh!
Oh ho!
(Mmm you gonna want me back)
(The last words she said to me now I'm wishing she was still here wit me)
(You know your gonna need me)
And now that day's here, ya man gotta shed tears.
(Mmm you gonna want me back)

You never miss a good thing till it leaves ya
Finally I realized that I need ya
I want ya back
Baby girl I need ya back
Gotta have ya back, babe
Aww I broke it when you left my world
Man I wish I woulda kept my girl
I love you
I don't know what I'm gon do wit out my baby

It's driving me crazy (It's driving me crazy)
'Cause I'm missing my baby (Missing my baby)
I'm goin' outta my mind and I'm runnin' outta time
Oh I wish I could find you girl
Said I'm about to go crazy (About to go crazy)
'Cause I been needin' you lately (Needing you lately)
I'm goin' outta my head and all the things that I said
I wish that I never said them now

Aww baby
What you say now?
(Your gonna want me back)
And still I want you, want you, want you, want you, want you
Need ya babe

If I could rewind the time
And get inside ya mind
I would take back all my words
I didn't see it, I couldn't see what I was doin' babe
See baby girl I was blind
And I wish that I could try
To be the man that you deserve
Give me one chance to make it work

It's driving me crazy (It's driving me crazy)
'Cause I'm missing my baby (Missing my baby)
I'm goin' outta my mind and I'm runnin' outta time
Oh I wish I could find you girl
Said I'm about to go crazy (About to go crazy)
'Cause I been needin' you lately (Needing you lately)
I'm goin' outta my head and all the things that I said
I wish that I never said them now

(Mmm you gonna want me back)
Wish I could throw it back
I want it the way it use to be
(Your gonna need me)
(Mmm your gonna want me back)

Give me chance to make it work!

It's driving me crazy (It's driving me crazy)
'Cause I'm missing my baby (Missing my baby)
I'm goin' outta my mind and I'm runnin' outta time
Oh I wish I could find you girl
Said I'm about to go crazy (About to go crazy)
'Cause I been needin' you lately (Needing you lately)
The love of my life but I wasn't loving you right baby

It's driving me crazy (It's driving me crazy)
'Cause I'm missing my baby (Missing my baby)
I'm goin' outta my mind and I'm runnin' outta time
Oh I wish I could find you girl
So I'm about to go crazy (About to go crazy)
'Cause I been needin' you lately (Needing you lately)
I'm goin' outta my head and all the things that I said
I wish that I never said them now

(Mmm your gonna want me back)
It's the last words she said to me
Now I'm wishing she was still here wit me
(Your gonna need me, need me one day)
And that day's here
(Mmm your gonna want me back)
And ya man gotta shed tears
I'm sittin' by the phone
Realizing she ain't ever coming home.....

I wish I told {him} how I felt
Maybe {he'd} be here right now
but instead..I pretend that I'm glad u went away
These 4 walls closing more every day
I'm dying inside
& no one knows it but me
Like a clown that's put on a show
Pain is real even if nobody knows
& I'm crying inside & nobody knows it but me
Y didn't I say the things I needed to say
How could I let my O:-) get away
Now my world is just T u m b l i n g down
I can't say it so clearly
There's just no way of getting around
~Tony Rich Project

Don't it just feel like that sometimes?:-(

heartbroken when u left my world...realizing that I need you [boy]...I want u back...baby [boy] I need u back

Another freakin' day...would u look at that...another relationship goes down hill...April is never my month...that's when my last bf broke up with me (or did i break up with him???) That's when most guys turn the other cheek. I would like to say that I don't care but I do...I know I was wrong...sort of...I did overreact which is my downfall a lot but yeah...day one of silence. day two isn't that far away and I'm pretty sure day 7 will be somewhere down the line. Debating to go to the SOC game tmw...I should just stay here...but I want to go cuz i don't just watch/cheer on Ron...*sigh* ::sarcasm:: Yeah hey, it's spring quarter! BLEGH! I have never been much on waiting things out...I've never been much on just anything...*sigh*. Waiting for Johnny to call back...go play ball...take my mind off things or what not. Yeah...TAKE ME AWAY...

I'm tired...stupid alarm got unplugged this morning...woke up late. RAR! Sounds like a great start of another morning for me...*sigh*.

Truth hurts...

So you think that you know what's important
Steady chasin' your fame and your fortune
But you don't know
You're chasing a dime losin' a treasure
Those dollars don't make sense to me at all

Today was one of those days where you wake up thinking everything is great and as the day passes it all becomes progressively worse...

I have a headache right now and a massive frown...no mood to cry...just feeling hurt. I just snapped today...I get back from class today and chilled with Ron and we were watching the Women's Final Four NCAA championship game: UConn vs. Tennessee. Something inside me just went out to Pat Summitt and the Tennessee girls...so I started rooting for 'em. Of course, Ron went against me...that didn't bother me...then later I return Johnny's call and I don't know, I could hear Ron setting up ball tonight at Wooden...not consulting me was hurtful a bit. I was originally going to read for English class tonight...not go play ball but I guess Ron thought otherwise. Ron starts calling all these people on my cell phone...it bothered me a little bit since I don't get free nights til after 9...so okay, he used up my minutes...okay so what if he didn't think about all these numbers showing up my cell phone bill that automatically goes to my dad who views every lil detail...So what if i have to make up explanations whose numbers those are...um yea, so what? Then he comes in frantically and tells me not to get mad: "I dropped ur cell phone. It's probably somewhere in the bush." So yeah, that hurt cuz it made me realize when it comes to my stuff, none of it matters. So who cares if it dropped off the balcony...so what if it hit the ground and broke into a million pieces...so what if I have to pay a grip just to replace the sim card and the phone itself...so what? Then he tells me it was all joke...so what if my heart was still beating a mile a minute and that I was thinking of a million different explanations to tell my dad so he wouldn't possibly get angry with me and just hold a grudge with me...so what? I guess what crossed the line was when I was making a comment to counteract Mark's comment about George Huff's histrionics...if you sang, you'd know...performing is about feeling the music and if feeling the music means waving your arm around then so be it...that's what I was trying to say and of course Ron intrudes: "Hey, Mark...just tell Sheena you can't sing...etc. etc." The words after that are kinda blurry...so why did I snap? I guess that topped off the night for me...cuz that was the nail in the coffin. Ever since my tonsils have been inflamed for the past couple of months I haven't been able to sing well...my notes are totally off...that scares me cuz music is a part of my life and just when I thought I was improving my singing, this happens. TO have Ron make that comment was very hurtful because the truth is I might not be able to sing again. My dad doesn't seem to take me seriously when i say I have to get my tonsils checked...I'm scared that I might already have vocal nodes and will have to have surgery...I'm scared that I'll never develop my voice...I'm sad that Ron joked about my singing voice...I had nothing to say to that comment...it caught me speechless so I tried to hurt him physically. Something inside me that had built up the whole night finally overflowed and rushed out of me. Before I knew it I just wanted to tear his finger off...I finally realized to calm down but the damage was done...the damage was done. Later on the misinterpretation with my comment about the stuffed animal...well, it meant nothing the way he thought it meant. I made that comment about not taking it because I don't know...it just seems like he doesn't want a reminder at his place that this is what my girl won for me...to have it would make him less of a man or something...Ozzy riding his back about me...about not being able to hit that...just making him realize that I'm not worth it. Something inside of me is so scared lately...it's almost that precious three month mark...the mark that says he's out of the red zone and that assures me that maybe we will be just fine...that he won't break my heart...that he is truly genuine. I can't help myself...I just don't feel so sure right now...he just sometimes makes me feel that he is hiding something from me...it's like I have to nag him to get the truth and that just gives him more of a reason to hide things from me. *sigh* I just don't wanna care right now but I do...I probably won't sleep tonight...again. *sigh* serves me right, i guess...

"I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on --On the other side I wanna break down and cry"

P.S.
Side note...my bro told me today that he found a dog he wanted to adopt...then he told me that Snoop must have gotten adopted which caught me by surprise cuz I assumed that he was put to sleep but my bro tells me "Nope, they gave him medicine and put him up for adoption." That hurt...my dog is somewhere out there with someone else's family. *sigh* He's my dog...always will be. *sigh* everything is changing so fast!

Providingo...

I'll be honest, I didn't believe that this weekend's retreat would work...at first. It actually turned out to be a great weekend...a couple people were missing and yes, a couple of things could have gone a lil smoother but other than that--IT WAS GREAT! We ended up going to the area of Long Beach where Tam's prom was...yeah, hehe junior year. Fun stuff. Made more memories as usual...some captured on film too! hehe but yea, we lost an hour today and I was sleepy earlier but now I'm just so awake. SUX! Ron's not here tonight too...I feel bad cuz I did what I usually do (so hard not to)...I picked a fight for no real good reason. I mean, yea I could have gotten a tad bit upset but naw, I blew it out of proportion. I don't know why i did that...guess I tend to do that a lot with him when I don't get my way. Tmw is the start of Spring quarter...the last of the school year. That's so scary...one step closer to graduating...another day closer to saying good bye to people...*sigh* I got my grades back from last quarter...not bad: A, A, B. hehe I was shocked to see that B cuz I could have sworn I failed my English 10C class. YeAH! Done with the base series for my major!!! Now I can do more classes...

Wait, what was the good thing about that???

Anyways, I should try and get some sleep...think I'll work on stuff tmw...so I'll need my sleep