Wow, this journal thing has been going on for more than a year now
SO I just realized, I've had this journal for exactly 1 year and 2 days. Isn't that a trip? Just look at how many blogs I have created and archived!!! Amazing how I can still read back on those moments and relive some of those feelings or thoughts. Some better left off as they were and are and will forever be. Others still fresh to feel.

I failed my first graded thing in English today...why? Cuz I failed to study last nite...argh. Okay, time to crack down.

*sigh* so many things to do...so lil time.

No cruise...the only good thing about my birthday...GoNe NoW...argh!

Song of the moment: "Don't let the sun go down" Jamie foxx

Mood: I wanna cry

Watch what you say...the walls have ears

So now I am finally being censored on my own journal. Hahaha...u know who you are. Totally understandable...I know I cross the line way too much. It's just so tempting when you're toeing it just to push your own limits by stepping over and seeing the consequences. I'm not the easiest person to get along with...I believe. It's hard to put myself out there when so many people have tried to keep me contained all these years. I am trying to relax more and just be a little bit more loose in the sense that I shouldn't take things to heart all the time. I write whatever I am feelin at the exact moment I'm feelin it. So don't hold things against me...you can never really help what you feel. You just feel it...anyways, it's late as it is...I got class early tmw so i gots to go...laters!

FernnyMC: g'night, my sexy-hot to the touch- friend!

Song of the moment: "in my place" Coldplay

Mood: better now that things are out in the open...

Back to the Single life

I tried to drink it up tonight just cuz I didn't feel like facing people today...yea, I know that alcohol is not the answer but Carlos seemed like a good reason to be drunk tonight. I wanted to push myself but I didn't try too hard to do so. I just don't know...I guess my conscious got to me and a shot of schnapp's and plenty of jello shots seemed like enough for me...didn't get buzzed just acted stupid cuz having alcohol in my system seemed like a good reason to. Thought maybe people would think I was buzzed or something...a lightweight when I surely am not one. I can hold it down I just felt it wasn't the time and place to. I don't know if anyone could see the disappointment in my eyes tonight...you can decide for yourself whether or not it was from realizing something is over or the pain of a confused girl. I don't know...I never know anymore. Oh well...rollin' with the punches...I just wish you wouldn't punch that hard.

Song of the moment: PICK ANY COLDPLAY SONG...Trouble...Spiderwebs...in my place...yellow...

Mood: Wondering if anyone would notice that I downed the rest of the smirnoff...