I remember when you filled my heart with joy

Was I blind to the truth just there to fill the space?

'Cause now you have no interest in anything I have to say

And I have allowed you to make me feel dumb

What kind of fool am I that you so easily set me aside


You made a fool of me

Tell me why

You say that you don't care that we made love

Tell me why

You made a fool of me.. you made a fool of me


I want to kiss you

Does she want you with the pain that I do?

I smell you in my dreams

But now when we're face to face you won't look me in the eye

No time... No friendship... No love


You say don't touch you

I can't touch you anymore

Can't touch you any more ... any more

I don't touch you anymore



You made a fool of me

Tell me why

You say that you don't care that we made love

Tell me why

You made a fool of me... you made a fool of me

Okay...hehe the much anticipated events of my weekend. Well, yea, Friday, after studying for a quiz that never even happened, I spontaneously decided to go home for the night. The drive wasn't so bad...Been a long ass time since I've been home and the comforts of of my bed are still there. My whole room is a total mess. I haven't been able to fix it since the carpet had been redone. I am a bad daughter...I haven't visited my mom in months...*sigh*But yea...I left the Saturday afternoon cuz the bay area cousins were suppose to have arrived in LA that morning. I went to a family dinner on Saturday at Tita Noemi's place...yea, the familiar faces got my mind into motion even further than it already was (I'm having issues with roomies). Sheena in thinking mode is bad because I can't concentrate on anything else but whatever it is that I am thinking about. hehe yea, near death experiences...anyways, I talked to Jonny that night...who knows what's up with him. The family went out to Universal citywalk after dinner to just hang...it was cool. I played the basketball game and won a popeye doll. Heard some lame ass line from some dIIRRTTYY fool: "Oooh, u have nice eyes...mmmm" What the hell kind of line is that? U have to had heard it cuz reading it doesn't have the same affect on a person. We went to Roscoe's Chicken and waffles after that...it was probably around 2 or 3. We were all waiting (Mikey, Girard, Stephen, Jen, Jess, Hilgard, Hero, Nathan, and I) outside on the sidewalk. Some black guy kept buggin us to buy a dvd movie. There was this one homeless mexican that was in an army get-up and one crutch who was hella drunk. One of the workers from Roscoe's gave the guy a cup of water and it was funny cuz then the drunk guy busted out a bottle of alchohol and mixed the water with the drink. He was hella spilling on the floor. while he was mixing, the dvd guy came around and was like why does this guy need a crutch so we watched him run awayy with the crutch while the drunk guy ran after him. We were all the just cracking up. Then the drunk guy wanted to give us all peace...so we all dapped fingers and shit...we were all like, "gross, gotta wash my hands when we get inside." The food was good...I mean I don't see what the hype is all about but it was a nice place to just chill. I didn't get to bed til 4 or something like that. Sunday was the anniversary. It was a pretty nice place...looked like the Venetian but the ceiling was rounded. It was sooooo QUICK! The whole thing was basically a family showcase. The first dance was pretty funny cuz Lolo didn't want to do it...he could barely stand up. many of the people too off early, I was amongst those people. Conrad, his gf, Rain, Jing, Jen, Jess, and I went to Lollicup to get boba. We ended up going to Conrad's house afterwards cuz everyone was there just chilllin. After that I took Jess, Jen, Gable, Rain, and Jing to Hustler's in Hollywood. I've never been but Jess needed to get some stuff. Pretty much scandalous things there. But there were some cute shirts there: "Shut the Fuck Up", "Hustler Just sex"...something like that. After that we went to Tita Celi's for dinner cuz most of the Bay area people were leaving that night. Dang, EJ BIT MY ARM HARD!!! It left marks (bruises). Lil punk ass! haha I love him though. I took Jen, Jess, and Gable to Santa Monica after dinner. Third st. stores were closing when we got there but we watched a street performer there. At one point he had audience particpation and he picked out Jess. It was funny cuz he got 4 girls to do the next part of his routine: 1 white chick, a mexican chick, black chick, and Jess (figure out what she is). he went through the different ways the races dance. when he got to Jess he was dancing to "Kung-Fu fighting" it was rather funny watching her mimick his every move. We saw the memorial for those who were killed in the farmer's market accident. Dang...hella saddening. Afterwards we went to the pier. We were all obsessed to win this huge ass laker inflatable ball. We kept playing the basketball game to win it. Gable won a real ball at another basketball game. Everyone won something that night but me. But it was all good. We all had fun just laughing at each other and what not. After that we decided to go get my movies from my apt and go back to Con's to watch em and eat brownies and shiz. I ended up making pazookie that night and brownies. Dang at like 2 or 3 in the morning making shiz and eating it. haha FATTENING! We put on "Love and Basketball" but I fell asleep. I ended up driving home around 3:30 something. Once again i went to bed around 4 or so...I had class in the morning. I was straight dying the whole day!!!! I left work early...late to my meeting cuz I fell asleep. Went out with Arlyne and Robyn so we could find Arlyne club clothes for when she goes clubbing in the bay. I ended up just sleeping things off when I got back and didn't wake up til morning when I had to go to work. I worked another half day cuz I wanted to get a start on my paper but I didn't do shit!!! i fell asleep and went to my recruitment session for the 103 orientation. No cute freshmen...haha they were so uninviting but yea, I ended up staying up all night to do my paper and I didnt finish it til half an hour before class. I'm sooooo gonna get a bad grade on that one. UGH!!! But yea, I took out Jen and jess last nite cuz Rain didnt take em anywhere. We ended up going to Fox hills mall. TITE SHIT! But yea...read last nite's blog for the details...I'm soooo sleepy right now. I'm at work too!!!! ARgh!!!One more week of session A...should I be afraid???

Mood: unhappy...stupid paper cut right now!!!

Okay, so my essay was due this morning before lecture and I basically wrote it this morning...it's an ugly piece too! Ugh...I wish I didn't procrastinate or had taken summer school cuz if I didn't then I could have hung out more with Jess and Jen and then one to vegas with them and then go up north for a bit...but yea, I had to put down our lil fiasco that went on tonight...well, rain didn't take em anywhere today so I decided to take them to fox hills mall...we got there 45 mins before it closed. Jess bought the roccawear jacket I wanted...oh well, get over it sheena. But yea, we decided that I would make dinner and we'd go jacuzzing at my place. Chris came and it was like the whole spring break gang. But yea...the jacuzzi wasn't heated cuz it was late so we just headed to Con's to go make dinner...we first went to Coldstone Creamery at the Beverly center to go get some ice cream. We got there after it closed but the door was open so we manipulated the two guys working the counter to serve us. It was funny...the guy was pretty cute...well both guys. It was funny with Jen's bling and how the guy was all flirty and shiz. It was nice...we all were laughing snapping pix of the guys and yea, it was great! We bumped Black eyed peas when we were leaving and we honked at the cute white boy worker. It was crazy...but yea, I cooked dinner at Con's...barely got back a while ago. I should sleep

Mood: If u don't care, then why should i?

Nahihiya...wala ko gusto sabihin.

Something i wrote in class the other day...

July 18, 2003

I recall the morning...

When I awoke by your side...

The warm embrace still spurring the surface of my skin

Surging feelings that could even be felt in my toes...

I watched you asleep in your dream world wondering all the while if I was some where wandering amongst your happy thoughts

I didn't need to sleep that night--you made the impossible happen by bringing a dream into my waking hours

So peaceful were you
Beauty laid in every inch of your youthful face

I wish I could have captured the essence of you at that moment

The way you capture my thoughts all the time

I didn't want to wake up knowing full well that the sun had come too soon and that this moment would be over...

As though saying this is the end of anything else between you and I

...It's been so long since I have seen that loving face of yours

...it's been ages since I've felt your presence

...it's been so long...

...missing you is only necessary because since that morning came that day, my heart was never the same

Until I can feel these feelings again please feel my words...

Give me once again

Everything that is within you. I will

Open up my heart and let you in

Ransack me once more of all I have inside of me & I will surely

Give in--just take what you wish. We will

Explore the only bliss in this life...

8 2 3

...Though I wish I didn't

Anyways...too much going on right now...gotta wait to put up all the shiz that's been going on cuz I'm exhausted and have so much to do.

Song of the moment: Save the best for last

Mood: Icky...that weird feeling between being tired, sleepy, groggy, awake

Okay...bad day...only good thing is that my cousins from the bay are here...bad thing...hehe almost killed em...thought too much about someone (u know who it is, as usual). Shit, that's what almost got me in an accident was cuz I was thinking too much...UGH! It's that laughter...it echoed in my head...the rememberance of the way he said this certain word...Shit, I miss him! I'm so fucked up right now...anyways, going to bed...long day tmw.

Mood: lucky...but not the way u think