Yesterday was an odd day...a lot of questions were brought to mind...many still unanswered, burning in my heart for some kind of answer to fall upon. I guess I was looking forward to yesterday...from playing basketball w/johnny and also Arlyne's surprise birthday get-together...except for the studying, that's what got to me. But yea, people yesterday mixed into my thoughts quite often yesterday. I am looking at Johnny quite awkwardly because I don't know what to think about him. I admit, I kinda do like him...but then I don't wanna like him if he doesn't have any feelings towards me cuz he is the type of guy who befriends girls easily; he's just a nice guy in general. I guess u can say he's another "george": Friendly, teaser, nice, cute...a good ball player. hahaha yea, so I actually look at that now...I ran into someone after Arlyne's get together...I won't say who because the name may cause more drama than wanted or needed or even necessary. He got me thinking though...about why I'm letting loose a bit more this summer. Letting go of all the things that held me back during the year(s)...whichever u prefer to pertain this whole alleviation to. Yea, well, he got me realizing that I have made mistakes with him and our weary friendship...I wish I could take them back so that I wouldn't feel so awkward with him at times...I wish I didn't feel that way. I have trouble trying to forget that sometimes he can be as ignorant to feelings and attachments than others and at times that is what burns me. I wish I could say he is a good guy but sometimes he just isn't...but nonetheless, i will call him my friend. Yea, it was crazy cuz I was running across the street to get to the med plaza parking lot to get my car and go back home...then he calls me and asks me where I'm at and if I was wearing white shorts and a black n white top...haha apparently he saw me. But yea...let me tell u about the bball game between Johnny and I...so he came over about 2:10...I had gotten off work at around 1:30. I still can't believe I got off work early just to play ball w/him. BUt yea, It old him the night before that I didn't have a ball at my apt cuz I usually had borrowed my friends ball so he'd have to bring one. He came to my apt in his bball gear and I was wondering if he had his ball in his car...he kicked it at my apt for a while cuz I had my 2nd pass at 2:30...so yea, after I signed up I asked him where's the ball...he said he forgot it...???? haha soooo funny he didn't even bring his id or wallet. SO yea, we drove all the way back to like woodland hills or whereever he lived to go pick up his flat ball. We finally ended up playing ball at around like 5...I WON! I think he let me win though...but I guess that means he wanted to lose the bet. The bet was pretty hilarious cuz loser buys winner dinner...actually if I lost I would have had to make him dinner. BUt yea, also if I lost I'd have to call him daddy in front of everyone...if I won he'd have to say "Sheena, u are the goddess of basketball...I am not a worthy to be called a basketball player...." haha It was nice hearing him call me the goddess of basketball a couple of times. But yea, it was fun...we came back to my apt as I cooked up some food for dinner...then we went to the surprise bday party...it was funny...arlyne got the crap scared out of her. Francis and I were taking some shots before she got there...haha GO SOCIAL RECRUITMENT. Yea, francis chilled w/me by the pool for a bit and then johnny came...I was dipping my legs in the pool and I splashed johnny a lil...then francis...then francis kicked up hella water and I got drenched on my left side...*SAD*...haha well, yea, johnny fell asleep by the pool...when we switched apts, I took him back to my place so he can get his stuff and go. Yea, it was a nice night. Went back to Arlyne's apt to chill again...but I left early to study...and well, here I am...gotta go to class..LATEZ
Song of the moment: "where did our love go" keahiwai
Mood: scared about my quiz, excited about the retreat, confused by the rest of my life
