Sometimes, all u really need is a lil run in the night air to get ur mind jogging...haha did u catch that??? haha a lil pun...yea for me! haha okay, anyways. I finished watching "Office Space" and though I was still laughing on the outside, I still was bothered on the inside...y, I didn't really have any idea y...I wanted to go play ball but no one to play with so i went to Drake to go running. Yea, that was the first time I went running in Drake...first time in a long time that I went running too! It felt good...the cold air hitting my face and my legs under a dark purplish-red sky...my breathing was out of whack cuz I never really been a long distance runner. I was always the short sprinter type. I did a couple miles...ran straight for a while but had to stop cuz my ankle was giving out on me. I ended up walking another mile after that...I sprinted the last lap though cuz I just wanted to get my aggression out. I ended up running the stairs too...not so bad. They aren't as bad as Citrus's stairs: now those were HIGH and LONG!!! Good lord, I remember doing high knees up those stairs. WHEW! That was a hella work out. U feel that in ur butt for days...neways, i came back to the room but I was so hyped out that I decided to head to Reiber and get more at the rec room. Luckily for me there was no in there but I got sidetracked. Right when I was getting away from the steps someone started walking behind me...I mean pretty close behind me...turned around and was face to face with George. JERK! I hate when people do that to me...I had that happen to me before and it wasn't a joke. Been traumatized since. But yea, ended up playing a game of horse...I LOST!!! I was so pissed...but yea, like always, I got over it. I showed him the tee I started today. A dark navy blue shirt that says H-O-R-S-E on the front with a black bball. I wanted to write L-O-S-E-R on the back but had no more S's...But yea...he brought up a moment a while back...the time he made me shiver...and I've been kinda thinking about it. I shouldn't but u know when things are just in the back of ur mind and won't leave til u think it over. Well, I did...I wish that moment didn't really exist only because of what the "shiver" could POSSIBLY mean. Emphasis on that Possibly...yea, I'm still not ready to explain...but what I will say is this: when he does gently rub my arm, I feel good inside...like I'm happy I have him as a friend, u know? Like I have the urge to thank God for giving me these happy moments with him before he graduates. Which reminds me, I didn't finish talking about the game from yesterday. It was so much fun! I sat next to Gabe's mom for a while and his grandpa too...George came with me cuz Rose was unable to come...Yea, well, a lil into the game George and I moved away from them cuz we wanted to see better. It was a fun game. I bought foam noodles at the beginning of the second half and we were having fun waving those things for a while. We pulled off a nice like 15 point victory. George and I ended up trying to play ball at reiber but the courts were hella full. It didn't really matter though cuz George's friend was gonna hang with him like 15 mins later anyways. Yea, I'm kinda glad that George finally saw his first UCLA bball game...and it was with me. That's kewl to say...but yea, I'm gonna freak out soon...it's the end of nineth week and sooner or later finals week will be here. As excited as I am about spring break, I am more afraid about this quarter's finals only because I took easy classes...well, I w/exception to com stud. am taking classes that I should ACE...sad that I'm very stupid...=*(
OHHHH...I just gotta keep telling myself, "Do well on ur finals...finish strong so that ur spring break will be more enjoyable." OH, help us all, Lord!

song of the moment: *playin on the mp3 playa* "Run to you" Plus One

Lyrics: "I run to u...I'm so lost in u...when I need u, oh I need u....I run to u...when i can't find my way...when I get lost in u...when I don't know what to say..."

Quote of the moment: kyuriousG (11:07:18 PM): Once upon a time this girl named Sheena was playing basketball at the park. On her walk home, she saw a note on the floor that said to make 3 wishes right now. She sat down and thought about it. Her first was to be rich. She checked her wallet but there was still no money. She wished to be taller but she was still short. Then her last wish she wanted to fly. She opened her eyes and she was a rich, tall bird flying in the sky.
kyuriousG (11:07:33 PM): her first wish*
Story that George made up...haha

Mood: =)

It's been a weird two days...Yesterday was Ash Wednesday...I fasted...Oh, wow, did I FAST!!! I kept seeing food everywhere and by night time, Rose, Aiz, and I were dying for some. We ended up ordering in som Thai take out...good lord, their bbq was excellent! But yea, hella drama throughout the day...U know the reason y I didn't see Cindy on Tuesday? I still don't know the full details but here's what went down...apparently Father Pat talked to Cindy at 2 and asked her to resign immediately...yea, I said Immediately...so at 2:30 Cindy had her resignation letter all made:
Dear Friends at the University Catholic Center,
Yesterday afternoon around 2pm I was asked to immediately resign from my ministry at the UCC by Fr. Pat Hensey. I did so with the following letter that I placed on his desk at 2:30 pm:

Tuesday March 4, 2003
2pm

Dear Pat, At your request today, I immediately resign immediately from the position of Campus Minister at the University Catholic Center. I will move out of my office by Saturday March 8 and return all codes and entry devices at that time.

Sincerely,

Cynthia W. Yoshitomi

Late Last night, because some of you called by cell concerning my absence, I found out that Fr. Pat had not attended the RCIA meeting and Pastoral Team planned Mardi Gras party to explain my absence. This must have felt like abandonment on my part but I want you to understand that I had no choice. I was asked to immediatly resign. I assumed that Fr. Pat in his capacity of Acting Director would have felt an obligation to be there with you.I am so sad about this situation and ask only that you understand that this has nothing to do with your faith or you spiritual journey and that God has blessed you with good sponsors and RCIA team members and student leaders to assist you. God Bless you all and may your lent be one of compassion and caring. I love you all very much and am very very sad that I can no longer minister to you. Here is a prayer I intended to give you on Ash Wednesday:

Forward in Trust
Lord,
Make me willing to listen to the advice of those who love me,
and above all to trust that you will guide me
along the way you have planned for me.
Let me grasp the opportunity
when the time is right
and go forward in trust.
from Ruth and Naomi: A Story of Friendship, Growth and Change

Ugh, yea, today was the last bball game of the season...haha yea, we pulled off a victory. But um...this needs to be postponed cuz I need to do something...

Song of the moment: "Whoop there it is" tagteam
haha don't ask y

Mood: interested to see more

I could lie to your face but then, where would that leave my heart?
See it's your smiling face that sets you apart
...from the rest of this chaotic world
Impact after impact
and moment after moment...
I seek comfort in u...
A warm embrace
A gentle touch
...means more than words...it just means so much
I haven't been motivated to write anything these days
There's just so much going on, I'm lost in so many ways
I see so much more in u than I could imagine
but then again, why does it really matter, ur heart isn't something I can easily win
There u are, always standing in the back
I catch your eye and I know, I will never get off track
U guide me...direct me...make sure that I am never lost
Because in u, I am always found at any cost
I do not think you see... you cannot really understand me only cuz u don't feel
...feel the rush I get inside just knowing that this is real
Or is it?
Is this merely potential...or some bunked out possibility that I can only hope for?
Breaking the norms and striving for more...
Can u blame me for falling for ur infinite eyes and broadening smile...
...the goofy things u do and ur dorky lil style
Sometimes I swear you live in a world where I don't exist
...u live in a world where I can only wish...
...a world where u and I will never kiss
...a world where I can only look from afar and watch as I miss
...u as u pass by...never glancing...never wondering if there will ever be a "u & I"
In my reality, playful at times as it is...
We'll always talk about theirs, hers, and his...
But what about "we"?
The label sometimes I wish would be real...
Can I help it, doesn't it seem wonderful at times?
Perhaps it is a fantasy beyond its time...
or simply a wish that will always be left alone in my mind
I pray that this craziness is not meant for future disappointment because if that is the case, may I pull out now?
It is not u who stays up late and wonder...are u snuggled in ur bed sleeping like the angel that u are...
...are u trying to find someone amongst the tangle webs of phone or Aim
...or is it me that u think of at those lonely times in the middle of the night that u wake up in a cold sweat and realize something is missing
...is it?
Perhaps it is just me, feeling for something more than what u are giving me...or perhaps it is just me that I am feeling for something less that what u are capable of handling...
Who is willing amongst us both to jeopardize a friendship?
I don't know what is more painful...to lose u as a friend or to lose u as a lover...
I believe if I lose u as a friend now, I will never find my way back to sanity only cuz ur the only insanity that puts me in my place
What do I know...I'm but a child in ur adult world
Compared to u, I need to learn so much more
I swear I can see ur face as I write these words upon this blank page
...what is that gets me...the fact that we are a part of a friendship that once was
...or, a part of a love that never would be...
I guess I maybe holding on to something that isn't there but can I help it that I feel that there is something beneath the surface...
an underlying
ever prying
keeps on trying
...feeling of more than what we are...more than just a friendship...more than what I dream of
I guess the real sad part of this is the fact that u don't know I'm writing about u...
I guess it's better that way cuz if u knew, things would change and change right now is not what I need or am looking for...

*sigh*...darn Fil Am class...got poetry stuck in my head right now...and after Allan's spoken word piece, "ode?" it made me think...how many times have I liked someone from afar and never let them know that my piece is about them...how I've held onto these feelings of envy cuz I knew I was not the one they were pining after....yea, sad, huh?

Mood: Mellowed out....

Today is Fat Tuesday...Mardi Gras...Yup, tmw is the beginning of the season of Lent...OH GOSH, live it up tonight cuz tmw I can't...tee hee. For sure this Lent I am going to give up cussing again or at the least not say them that much. I'm going to try and make some study habits for myself so that I can get into the swing of things. I'm going to try and meet more people and not be so shy...try and say what I mean when I mean to say it. I don't wanna go regretting letting a moment pass by. There is so much I must do...*sigh* haha

I finished my paper this morning. It was funny cuz I didn't go to work today...I didn't even bother calling in, which is really unlikely of me to do. I saw Lewis on Bruin walk doing some tabling for a disney thing. It was funny talkin to him cuz of GUY PROBLEMS! haha Yea, go figure...guys just don't know what they want...whether it is to be with us or not...haha, well, I wish I had someone but yea...that's all good though. Being single isn't that bad anymore...I have my friends filling my time now which is all good. Things have fallen into place and I am very happy about that. Spring quarter will be awesome if that is the case! Just the only thing bringing me down next quarter is saying good bye to my friends that are graduating...what am I going to do without them...they play such an integral part in my life now: Richelle, Melody, Robyn, Mariefe, Toni, Nina, Lewis, Sherry, Chrisma, George, Sameer...it'll be weird not seeing 'em around next year. Well, Chrisma promised we'll hang...and I hope that is true cuz we have the greatest of times when we hang out. I can't wait for our trip up north...that is going to be sooooooo fun! I get to drive up there...relax...for once not have my bro or dad watching over me as if i couldn't handle being by myself. I felt like I've been by myself ever since my mom passed away...I've been put to the test and though I'm barely passing, I'm getting by. George...what can I say about George? Well, yea, he's become someone that I've become very depended on. I don't think a day has passed in which I haven't said something to him. I guess each day would be incomplete that I didn't...God put him in my life for some reason and I'm glad he did...what would I do without my "basketball homie"...haha yea...reminds me...

Stupid story of the day:
Well, I got back from the general meeting early. I decided to work on my oral interview questions and community assessment before RCIA tonight. I lost track of time...I was just so into it wondering what I should ask Desie and Grace that I didn't realize it was like 6:50 something...class starts at 7...yea, I quickly printed it out and ran out the door...I was half way down to church when i realized I forgot my disk. Running back in my huge ass boots and skirt...out of breath, I told the guy running the desk that I forgot my disk...the rca's were starting the meeting...how embarassing!!!..I was grabbing my disk when one of the guys said, "let's stare at the person standing in the room"...I ran out of there like there was no tmw...hahaha

Went to church after that...i didn't see Cindy...but I actually got to talk to Markie and Natalie...they were red and I didn't know why. I found out there was Vodka in the juice we were drinking...haha *shock*...what were they doing to us? But it was nice...I wasn't drunk but I was just having fun laughing cuz everyone else was laughing...We couldn't stop laughing..."the blood of christ" haha yea, that was crazy

I'm sleepy now...I think it's hitting me slowly...

Song of the moment: "My Cherie Amour" Tony thompson

LALALALALALA hahaha, yea that's all I've been singing all day

Mood: happy...too happy for words ^-^

Well, I survived Friday night...Saturday til today also...haha, sooo sleep deprived. But I think I feel fine now! I am sorta happy right now...I shouldn't be. I should be panicking my lil ass off...my paper, my clases, my fafsa...yea...oh gosh, so can't believe it! LoL Lent is coming up and I think I have it figured out what I'm giving up and what I am working towards keeping going in my life. But yea, let me tell u about Friday night and Saturday and Sunday...haha cuz these days seemed so continous that I don't think they were three separate days. Friday night I ended up going to the Samahang meeting cuz PCH was co-facilitating. Yup, gone for support cuz yea...I'm such a bad director. But for sure, next quarter, I will have a clubsite!!!! Oh man...this is sad for me. I know next year that I am not going to do a directorship...at the least I will do staff like recruitment. That is more along the lines of my genre cuz I'm more of a planner...having so much responsibility of this fundraiser and awareness...I love it and all but I'm sorry, I'm a fun aspect kind of person to gain some closeness.
Anyways, after the meeting I went to the UCLA Band Nite at Kerckhoff and it was cool. Long was a really good artist. He had the voice of the Creed lead singer and the guitar/song style of John Mayer so he was awesome. Grizzly Peak was awesome once again...it was cool cuz when we left the lead singer said sup and thanx for coming. hahaha
Saturday morning yea, that was cool going w/moniqua and Alina to the Women's conference thing. haha u know what I noticed that everytime I go to a christian thing they always hug u...haha no matter whether or not they know u. haha but dang they had some moving speakers. BJ Foster was excellent. Her story just made me think so much about myself right now and where I am at in my life. Who I am and am not pursuing...or what I am and am not pursuing...u know? haha Like I said before clarification right now...cuz u know, that's how it goes!
Oh yea, well...I did random things on Saturday...tried to get some sleep but roomies were waking my ass up every 45 mins on the dot...haha like it was planned. Well I started doing laundry at around 7:30...I got a call from George at around 9...he had gone out to dinner w/his older sis *yea isn't that cute and sweet?* George and I were suppose to go to Hollywood video later on that night. He wanted to know if I was down to go w/his Sis and his old roomie to get boba and then we could just get our rentals afterwards...I said I was doing laundry but yea...Rose ended up doin it for me and I went out w/em. His sister is really cool! She's very sweet and kind...easy to talk to. She's 31 but she doesn't look like it at all...late 20's at the least but not the 30's. She was a Phy Sci major when she came to UCLA back in the early 90's. She's a consultant right now...which is cool. I met George's old apt roomie, Joseph too. He was very friendly too...I noticed how close all three of them were. It was nice to see that...u learn something new everyday. I find it awesome how they connect so well. We went to Haagen Daz...first time I've been there. It was cool...his sis treated us all out which was real nice of her cuz if u think about it, she just met me. But yea...YUMMY ICE CREAM! We went to Hollywood video after that. I rented My Big Fat Greek Wedding...that was a cute movie. It stays true to the fact if u change Greek to Filipino it does work. Haha...WINDEX!!! haha Cute, very cute. I ran into Susan from the Women's Conference...she was there w/her bf making him buy her some Swedish fish. Yea, when all four of us was walking back to the car...it was cute cuz they were talking about Alias. I've never seen it but just listening to them reminds me of my friends and I when we talk about like Smallville or Friends...they were so cute as if it was reality. I couldn't help but smile and think in my mind, "God, thanx for letting me witness this tonight...helps me appreciate the lil things." It was weird cuz I swear someone could see the glow on my face or at least in my eyes. *sigh* haha corny but true. Well, yea...afterwards me and George were trying to go to the Dance marathon to see ACA hip hop perform but we missed it cuz we didn't know that moraling cost 15 but yea...we ended up going a lil later. I stopped at his room to drop off the thing I made last week when I was down. It was a curious george burping pad...white towelish thing w/blue/green lining. Curious george was at the bottom standing on top of the world. I wrote in blue puffy paints "Remember that you'll always have the world at your feet" That was so encouraging to see last weekend when I was sooooo out of it...over reacting and being over emotional. I changed the packaging so it read Kyurious George...I brought two lil See's Chocolates for his sister to his room last nite too...I felt bad cuz I woke her up. George and I talked for a while in the hall and then decided to go to the Dance marathon...we found out admission was 5 bux. Haha he was wearing the funkiest blue hawaiian button up shirt. Yea, it was fun...hard to dance w/him because boy can't freak someone he knows, apparently. I mean, why have a problem w/it? Girls do it w/each other all the time cuz it doesn't matter, it's just dancing. I mean not like I was gonna bite him or anything...lol. Yea, we tried a couple times but I never do it at the right pace and each guy does it a lil differently. Some grind and some sway...some just do their own lil thing. But yea, that was fun. I ended up working my shift later on that night at 3...I only had like probably 15 to 20 mins of sleep before Ieft. I was knocking out by 6 or so...Grizzly Peak rejuvinated me but only for a short while. Trevor, I felt bad for cuz there I was getting all cozy w/some pillows on the floor and he was having to stand up the whole time...no resting. Yea...I left around 8 or so...I ate and watched part of My big fat greek wedding hoping that food coma would hit sooner or later and it did. It was good...until rose called around 12...went to brunch all grudgy. I watched the movie again w/aiza afterwards and then I snoozed til 6:50...got ready for church. Minh was there at church...haha cuz of a girl! that was funny. Yea, and now here I am...sitting at my desk writing this instead of my paper. I'm tired but I'm gonna start it tonight and then finish it for sure tmw!!! Aiyah!
As for right now, my mind set is all great...just exhausted. I'm content w/things cuz u know what, maybe it's better this way. Like I said, if things fall into place then that's how it goes...but haha yea, I'm waiting for things to fall into place or at least make a lil more sense. haha *stares into ur eyes*

Song of the moment: "No Greater Love" Rachel Lampa

Song Lyrics: "Before I knew Your Name,
You knew my ev’ry breath.
Before I found my way,
You knew my ev’ry step.
Before I knew everything that I need,
You gave it all to me.

No greater love than this…
That You should lay down Your life
For someone such as me;
I’d spend a lifetime wondering why.
The Beauty of Heaven
Is here in my heart
And I know there can be
No greater love than this.

I never understood
How merciful Love could be,
Until I felt His Flame
Light every part of me
And I would give everything that I am
’Cause I have been saved;
Yes, I have been saved!

No greater love than this…
That You should lay down Your life
For someone such as me;
I’d spend a lifetime wondering why.
The Beauty of Heaven
Is here in my heart
And I know there can be
No greater love.

Oh, oh oh, oh oh, woah…

The Beauty of Heaven
Is here in my heart
And I know there can be
No greater love...
For someone such as me.
No greater love...than this."

Mood: Can't remove this smile from my face =P