Last nite was very hard for me...I do admit that I overreacted...breaking down and crying in a bar is the last thing I wanted to do. It's sad when one builds up their own hopes and watch them come crashing down...I do that a lot. With the enlightenment of recent events, the fight within me deepens. I don't want to like him...I still do but that is slowly deterriorating. My personal thoughts and feelings are up in the air at this moment...Though I believe Lewis' word, I must know on my own. I wanna know if he's truly genuine to me or simply a player. haha...good lord. Roller coaster ride again! LoL. The bar thing last nite just was weird. Uhh...Yea *sigh*
Today was a day to forget that I'm foolish and whether or not he's playing for the fool. I woke up early this morning after a late night sleep. I went with alina, Gazaal, and Moniqua and I think someone from 3N to the Hammer museum. The paper exhibit was extraordinary! I couldn't believe how awesome the pieces of work are! How could they make such perfect lines...how could they make something so beautiful on such a large scale? The regular exhibits of contemporary work...the realism, the pointillism...I couldn't breathe...I was captured by the beauty of a moment frozen in time...like Jean-Baptiste-Camille corot's Pleasures of Evening...the sunset colors against a dark scenery just made me wish I was frollicking in the meadow with them. Andrew Wyeth's Daydream was circa 1980 but dang...it reminds me of something that I've been imagining in my mind...like something seriously out of dream. William Adolph Bouguereau's L'Abri (The Shleter) just scared me...the realistic look in the two girls eyes was as if they were going to jump out of the painting and grab me. I like that place...it's very serene and the view is beautiful...u hover over the backside of Westwood village. It's nice!

Song of the moment: "I will get there" Boyz II Men

Song lyrics: "Hey
Yeah
I've been wanderin' 'round in the dark
Been lost somewhere where no light could shine on my heart
I have known a pain so deep
But I know my faith will free me
[Get there] And I'll get through this
[Get there] I'll find my way again
So don't tell me that it's over
'Cause each step just gets me closer
(I will get there) I will get there
(I will get there) I will get there somehow
Cross that river (Cross that river)
Nothing's stoppin' me now
I will get through the night (Oh, yes, I will)
And make it through to the other side
(Get there) Get there
(Get there) Get there
I've been in these chains for so long
I'll break free and I'll be there where I belong
Hold my head up high, I'll stand tall
And I swear this time I won't fall
[Get there] I will do this
[Get there] No matter what it takes
'Cause I know no limitations
And I'll reach my destination, I will get there
I will get there (I will get there)
I will get there (Ooh) somehow (Somehow)
Cross that river (Cross that river)
Nothing's stoppin' me now
I will get through the night
And make it through to the other side
(Ooh, get there) Get there
(Get there) Get there
Well, the night is cold and dark
But somewhere the sun is shining
And I'll feel it shine on me
I'll keep on tryin', I'll keep on tryin'
I will get there (I will get there)
I will get there somehow
Cross that river (Cross that river)
Nothing's stoppin' me now
I will get through the night
And make it through to the other side
Get there, get there
I will get there (I will get there)
I will get there somehow (Somehow)
Cross that river (I'll cross that river for you)
Nothing's stoppin' me now (OhwhoaI)
I will get through (Through) the night
And make it through to the other side (Ohhoohho)
(Get there) Get there
(Ooh, get there) Get there (Whoaoh)
I will get there (I will get there)
I will get there somehow (Somehow)
Cross that river (I'll cross it for your love)
Nothing's stoppin' me now (No matter what)
I will get through the night (I will get through the night)
And make it through to the other side
(Get there) Get there
(Ooh, get there) Get there
Get there
Ohhooh
I'll get there"

Quote of moment:
"Conquering any difficulty always gives one a secret joy, for it means pushing back a boundary-line and adding to one's liberty."
-Henri Frédéric Amiel

Mood: Full...I ate too much...haha very calm right now and awaiting for something to happen.

It never fails to amaze me the typical ways of guys...tonight, someone in particular continued my reason why I should dislikeme in general and men's manners towards women. In other words, Played for the fool once again...as always...as being the ass of everyone's stories, I continue my awful journey as being the tragic heroine...struck into love and painfully struck down by it's weird effects. I sit at my computer on a Friday night...it's 1:42am in the freakin morning...I choose to write over sleeping cuz knowingly if I sleep I will repeat the past mistakes of my life. Tears are incessantly streaming down my cheeks...splattering on the ground like my torn and fucked up heart. My eyes are swollen and my nose is stuffy and my body is quivering cuz I hate myself for doing this...for trying or even hoping anything was going to happen tonight. I broke down in the bar, the lil baby that I am, cuz I fooled myself into believing guys. Lewis forewarned me with truthful stories...I love him to death cuz he is very dependable...and though his words were being rejected as true in my heart...my mind knew that he would never lie to me and that the guy I've been thinking about was just another typical guy. I blame myself...I set myself up for this one...I give up...people wonder why I act so cold when it comes to guys...well, look at me...I've been disappointed so many times and hurt so much...What am I suppose to do? It's the same fucking story of my life! Tonight the answer to my question was finally revealed...unfortunately, it is not the answer I want. The hardest thing is accepting that....Gosh, I'm so stupid! I hate myself right now...I knew i was taking a risk...and it ended up the usual way...I should had played it safe...he wasn't worth it...and now I have the rest of the night to think about it...=*(

Mood: Growing more and more weary by the moment...I don't think I wanna go out w/anyone any more...I wouldn't be able to handle the disappointment

Wow...the weirdness keeps piling on me and it's seen in my eyes. Which is bad cuz it's bringing me down...organizing my life is becoming a lil difficult: what do I want? I think that's the main question to answer here. I am shirking my duties as a PCH director and that makes me feel like shit! I hate that...I know I could do so much better but I never allow myself to risk anything anymore. I guess somethings still scare the shit out of me to the point that I'll play it safe. TOO SAFE! Aiyah...so bad! I feel incomplete without choral right now...but I won't allow myself to get caught up in PCN once again. I went thru so much last year! Let's just not do that again, pleez. I hope we find another venue to do the 90's medley cuz that was so much fun...to do some modern shiz. *sigh* I wish my voice would come back but after this cold I've really strained my vocal chords and my throat is so tight...cracking on everything. Oh man...eck! Let's see, the guy situation...crushes are the most horriblest thing to have...to like someone from afar or even trying to figure out whether or not u have feelings for them...dang, that's some hard shit! I am ready for a relationship again but the thing is...are the guys in my life ready for it? Yea, I don't think any of them are cuz they are more messed up than me. It's all good though...all I ask for right now is their presence...company...their smiles...a dependable person and not someone who is just playing with my heart cuz that ain't kewl. It's been torn, stepped on, and shattered before...it doesn't need anymore wilting of this poor lil thang. U know what I'm really looking forward to right now? If any of u guys are offering hugs...sign me up for a couple of 'em, I need some...Wooo, I'm worried about tonights party...I'm being auctioned off tonight and yea, I agreed to it but now, I don't know...am I ready for some disappointment or am I ready to try something new? I know someone in particular isn't going to bid on me for one thing and maybe won't show up at all...it's okay, I've been disappointed on numerous occassions and sadly enough, I've gotten use to it. Woo, last nite, I think the shit hit the fan and I was in a daze...I borrowed Serendipity from George last nite...a predictable but yet cute movie. Made me think though...the coincidental situations that has happened in my life...especially in the relationship stuff...the innocent stage where ur still getting to know each other is the best part of everything...only a couple times have I gone to the point where I feel the comfortability of being able to bare the Sheena inside *glares at those who has the mind in the gutter* not like that...I mean to be totally open...to be stupid and still make sense and also be appreciated for being fallible. Amazing don't u think? I admire those who have that connection...it's hard to find. When u find it...hold on to it...don't let stupid things get in the way...I hate to be in the middle of that, which I have before, I got hurt in the process but still...stepping aside was for the better. Anyways...I'm realizing that it's basically 8th week...spring break isn't that far away...easter isn't that far away...wow...summer will soon be here! Wow, life is changing so quickly, I hope I can keep up

Song of the moment: "Brokenhearted" Brandy f/Wanya Morris

Song lyrics: "Only brokenhearted
Life’s not over, I can start again
Well, I’m lonely, brokenhearted
It’s a hurting thing to get over {Why don’t you tell me about it}

I’m young but I’m wise enough to know
That you don’t fall in love over night
That’s why I thought if I took my time
That everything in love would be right, oh, oh

But as soon as I closed my eyes
I was sayin’ to love "good-bye"

But I guess I’m only (Lonely) brokenhearted
Life’s not over (Life’s not over), I can start again
Well, I’m lonely, brokenhearted (Oh, yeah...)
It’s a hurtin’ {Life’s not} thing to get over

No more empty conversations
Next time I will be totally sure, oh...oh...
Don’t want the pain of fallin’ in and out of love
It’s more than my poor heart should endure, hoo...

So I’ll listen to all advice
And remember each time I cry

But I guess I’m only (Only brokenhearted) brokenhearted (Yeah, yeah...)
Life’s not over (Life’s not over), I can start again
Well, I’m lonely, brokenhearted
It’s a hurtin’ thing to get over

But I’m only brokenhearted
Life’s not over, I can start again
Well, I’m lonely (Lonely, yeah), brokenhearted (Brokenhearted)
It’s a hurtin’ thing to get over (Thing to get over)

Da, da, da, de, day, yeah
Ho, yeah, yeah
{Da, da, da, da, da}
Da, da, da, oh...yeah...
{Ooh...oh...whoa...ooh...ooh...}

So I’ll listen to all advice
And remember each time I cry
Only brokenhearted

Only {Ho...ho...} brokenhearted (Oh...)
Life’s not over, I can start again
Well, I’m lonely (Never thought I’d be alone again), brokenhearted
(That’s why I asked you to be my best friend)
It’s a hurtin’ (Boy, you know you’re always on my mind) thing to get over
(Think about you all the time)

Never thought I’d be alone again
That’s why I asked you to be my best friend
Boy, you know you’re always on my mind
Think about you all the time

Only {Whoa...oh...} brokenhearted {Ooh...ooh...}
It’s a hurtin’ thing to get over (It’s a hurtin’ thing, yeah)
Only brokenhearted {Ho...}
Life’s not over (My life is not over), I can start again

Well, I’m lonely"

Mood: 823ing about u =S

I just had a great session w/Chrisma...she's the best! Dood, planning San Fran trip for spring break...fly up there and just be like "wat wat???" haha Yea, I told her about my troubles with guys lately and she told me about hers...Oh gosh, she knows so much right now! But it's good cuz I like the fact I can tell her anything and be like, thanx, I needed to get that out my head. It's great...I'm gonna miss her next year cuz who will I tell my shit to when she's gone??? Yea, it won't be the same having a diff spear counsler.
Did I mention how I mothered George yesterday? haha, yea that was funny cuz Jigar was looking at me like, "ummm..what the hell?" Yea, I hated to see him be so helpless...but eh, that was probably a lil charade for me...haha so I can take care of his BUM ASS haha j/p. But that was kewl...
Man, I'm at work again just chilling and talking with my bosses...loving every minute of it! So yes...the day is not over...we'll see what happens...Stay tuned

Song of the Moment: "Take me there" Blackstreet f/Mya

Song lyrics: "Sitting here thinking about yesterday...about the way we laughed and how we use to play...just the thought of u brings a smile upon my face...it's the way I feel to see u everyday...where we go, nobody knows...and what we do is between me and u-u-u-u...Take me to that special place where smiles ***** (I forgot) and dreams come true"

Mood: Happy =P

Dood...I had a good night...I went to our 2 south boys im game...gosh, they were great the first quarter. They had the other team spinning in circles...second half was another story...just something was messing up their momentum. Oh well...I'm proud of them regardless. I was sure that Sameer was due for a shot...Mark didn't seem to had brought his game...great pack Trevor...Nick was buckwild...Anthony was trying to find a hole...Ryan was frustrated and u could see it on his face...Kevin got his glasses knocked off..nonetheless, it was a good game. The other team were all whiners...ugh! But yea, I was really surprised that some of the guys stayed for my game at Pauley. That made my day...hearing, "sancho" haha...Thanks Ryan, Kevin, Trevor, and Anthony...u guys are awesome! I got my second wind in this game, although, I was slacking. I stole the ball and had a break away layup...I busted a nice three...it was allll gooooodd! haha We barely won though...44 to 40. Ugh, it was the same team we played last time. yea, those girls who complained on every freaking call saying we attacked them or what not. That was our official last game but we're looking forward to the next games...especially sportsfest...yup, 626, where u at??? hahaha Yup...I love basketball! U can see it in my eyes, hear it in my voices, feel it in the way I move...I don't think I can ever be really seperated from the game no matter hard I've tried...high school didn't break me in that game...I worked my ass off...It showed my junior year but sure didn't show up senior year...I guess that was just my year to be a leader. *sigh* I know someday my kids are gonna be palming a ball and I get to tell them, "yea, mommy played back in the day." That's gonna be so great to show my son or my daughter how to do a jump shot...no, not my husband but ME! haha Break the barriers...I want them to have an opportunity to get to college on a different ticket and not have all these loans like me. yea, that's what I want to get them...show them that I'll be there for them no matter what cuz u can change who u are but u can't change the fact that I'll always be there for u.
Remember that empty feeling I had the other day...like something was missing...yea, I still sorta feel it. Two reasons: one identifiable and the other still in the unknown. Eh, I guess I'll get over it. I got shit to do but I refuse to do it...haha I'm such an idiot. I guess I should start now since it's like 11:25 at night...Tmw will be fun...bake sale, although, half my stuff is ruined...meeting with Chrisma...work...time to think again....figure out the future.

Song of the moment: "If it isn't love" New edition

Lyrics: I don't love her
I try to tell myself
But you can see it in my eyes
So don't deny
I can't be no one else
The truth is in the tears I cry


Chorus:
Cause if it isn't love
Why does it feel this way?
Why does she stay on my mind?
If it isn't love
Why does it hurt so bad
Make me feel so sad inside?
If it isn't love


I told her I'd never fall in love
But now I know better


How does it feel
I can't describe this feeling
The day when I saw her I cried
She got to me
I'll let you know the reason
I saw her with another guy


(Chorus)


(Chorus)


Maybe she'll take me back
Hey girl he's begging
I made a big mistake
Won't you forgive me girl
Now I can feel it
He's never felt before
I really love her
You love her? What?


It took my heart
Shattered in a thousand pieces
Before I'd ever drop my pride
Losing love
Worrying about my image
Really helped me realize


(repeat Chorus)

If it isn't love

Mood: proud of my boys! =) GO 2 SOUTH! Thanks for the memories!

Well...I had a full night's rest for once...I'm still tired though
I don't know...I'm mixed feelings right now...again! haha Seriously, lately, these weird emotions run deep thru me and half of them I can't explain. I have these ineffable feelings when I'm thinking about my mom...when I'm with George...when I'm just sitting at this computer of mine. I know why I have those feelings about my mom...it's cuz I miss her and things aren't easy without her right now. She'll just never know how sorry I am for all the times we had opposing views and how much I loved our times together.
I guess I don't wanna admit that I like George a lil...cuz part of me does and part of me just says, "NO, JUST FRIENDS!" Which is really what I want...I want this guy as a good friend cuz I'm comfortable around him and able to speak my mind. Which is really good cuz it's hard to find a trustworthy guy friend these days...so many past betrayals. U know what I'm talking about...all the guys that were friends and all they really wanted was some ass...yea, well, freak that! That wasn't cool...and there was those that were genuine...the possibilities are still there but I never gave them the chance to develop. For the guys who became bf's before being a friend...that was a mistake for us because we never got to see ourselves on that better level and were never able to amount into greatness. Yea, well, George, I know he's hella into his ex still so that's a good thing for me I suppose...u know not to get so attached and shit but dang, He sent a shiver down my spine yesterday which is scary cuz only one other person has done that to me...that has a meaning but I won't explain here cuz it's on another level. =S. Ask me later if u wanna know what I'm talking about cuz I tend to ramble on with words that make sense to me but not to u. But yea, I feel bad...I think I got him sick. I know for sure I got Rose sick. I hate seeing people feeling a lil helpless cuz their system is on the down. I know when I'm sick, I like for someone to give me a hand...to let me know I'm not alone on those weary nights of feverish fits...it's all there....they'll be there. Yea, well yesterday was nice for me...* ::Warm::*...*sigh*...**thinking**---???
Having that feeling while sitting at this computer...well, obviously cuz I spew my guts out on this comp nearly everyday...I feel incomplete without cuz it seems that my life story has been typed on every single key...u know? I've become attached to it like so many other things. I take it for granted and well, if it's gone, what am I to do then? Pull the plug and u pull the strings of my heart...Punch it's keys and punch my buttons...blare the sound and hear my words...it embodies me, I suppose.
I went to work today and grace and Desie were there...we talked a while. They explained why they weren't there yesterday...which seemed reasonable at the time but...I don't know...guess I drowned out half of her explanation. She has asked me about my "situation" and I explained some things and she is soooo understanding. I love my bosses...two filipinas who've gone thru the shit...Grace went to UCLA as an undergrad...in fact, she was the first true pres. of I think PREP or something like that. Desie, it's funny hearing her humorous quips. Yea, they bought me lunch today. We ordered in from Thai house...good shiz! I'm still full from it...talking with them is the best but half way thru lunch I started aiming with George while at work...his close friend's dad died...heart attack. That brought me back...memories that are still embedded in my mind...forever etched inside of me. Yea, not something worth while to re-feel...just not right now...I guess the only thing I can offer to say is "I'm sorry to hear that..." which is true...it's never good to hear that someone close has left. The only thing u can do is try to assure that life moves on and that u'll have to move on too. It's a time consuming process, believe me...but u can't live in the darkness the way I did for the longest time. U k now what...I don't wanna talk about this right now...I'm gonna get ready for class...continue this later after my game or something. =*(

Song of the moment: "Emotional" Carl thomas

Song lyrics: I knew you when
I had a friend
Very deeply
Lovely within
But somehow we got loose
From what was oh so tight
Somewhere we went wrong
When we were oh so right

What's a man to do when he just can't take no more
What am I to do when my heart leads me to the door
Now we've tried and tried again
But now this is the end
Tell me what's the use of holding on
If we can't be friends

I'm emotional
And I can't let go
I am trying to hold on to you
Though it hurts me so
Gotta let you know
That the love we once shared now is through
Say goodbye to you

You seem to hurt me purposely
I didn't understand it
Oh girl, why me?
I had no choice
What was best for us
Was to terminate our love and be free

What's a man to do when he just can't take no more
What am I to do when my heart leads me to the door
Now we've tried and tried again
But now this is the end
Tell me what's the use of holding on
If we can't be friends

I'm emotional
And I can't let go
I am trying to hold on to you
Though it hurts me so
Gotta let you know
That the love we once shared now is through
Say goodbye to you

I'm emotional
And I can't let go
I am trying to hold on to you
Though it hurts me so
Gotta let you know
That the love we once shared now is through
Say goodbye to you

What's a man to do when he just can't take no more
What am I to do when my heart leads me to the door
Now we've tried and tried again
But now this is the end
Tell me what's the use of holding on
If we can't be friends

I'm emotional
And I can't let go
I am trying to hold on to you
Though it hurts me so
Gotta let you know
That the love we once shared now is through
Say goodbye to you

I'm emotional
And I can't let go
I am trying to hold on to you
Though it hurts me so
Gotta let you know
That the love we once shared now is through
Say goodbye to you

Quote of the moment: kyuriousG: THANKS FOR THE JUICE!!! I am feeling a lil better :-D
kyuriousG: you're so nice! ~George after I dropped off some "fluids" to help him have a speedy recovery

mood: remembering a past that is better left in the past =*(

4:20pm...haha no, the time was simply coincidental. Besides, I'm not down for that type of shit...for those who are, they know what I'm talking about...for those who aren't...ask later.
Sitting at my desk right now, I can look out and see this immense bably blue sky hovering above me...surrounding me...it takes my breath away...the gentle nuance of white that blankets the sky in small patches just makes u remember how lovely mother nature is...penetrating rays of light, with the streams of gold....dang, I love LA! Sometimes I wonder what happens if I didn't end up moving to Azusa...if I ended up not really caring about my future while I was in high school...if I ended up caring more about being involved with someone over my sports and academics...dang, where would I have ended up? I think I've told some of my closest friends this before...if I didn't have those things in high school to keep me focused I would have probably been pregnant by senior year and trying to figure out where's the next paycheck gonna come from. I thank God for giving me the power to overcome those urges...keeping my virtue in it's entirety and keeping me strong all these years. High school was a struggle...constantly being compared to my older brother, never being able to be happy about being my mom and dad's only daughter...living in his shadow and despising him...never wanting to be born at the lowest of times. Seeing that my accomplishments meant nothing but mere pieces of papers, tin attached to a jacket, patches with pretty writing, trophies with no sentiment. That hurt me a lot...to struggle being in my family....then also struggling with my social life. It was like being a double agent at times when u see that u have to be this perfect daughter when u r around ur family and then trying to be super girl at school so ur friends will accept u. When in actuality, those two have to live in perfect harmony while the third hidden person lies beneath both of them wishing she can emerge and show her face. I have the greatest two best friends any girl could ever ask for but sometimes, I silently wished they weren't so great because my father and mother compared me to them too. Don't get me wrong...I cherish Rose and Aiza...they are awesome and I give them props for doing what they do but dang...haha do u guys have to do so much? Well, I guess I've had my share and I shouldn't complain cuz I have done so much in my four years of high school that not many people can say they have done in their lifetime...sports galore...awards...relationships hahah...man...I miss high school. Well, the events and not really the work cuz dang, that was soooo easy! Nothing like College! But it's okay...I'm finding my way...I wonder if I didn't get into UCLA what I would be doing at UCI...or if I do end up transferring to Berkeley...haha what would I do there? Who knows...I'm happy I ended up here...I mean I would never have met Richelle, Roach, Art, Robyn...PCHERS...Moniqua, Alina...2 Southers...Will, Michi...George...Oh gosh, can't forget Chrisma...I wouldn't have the greatest filipinas as my boss...
My future was set for me long ago...I've been dreaming of going to this school since I was 8 or 9...since the first time I had come here on those lil field trips...I still look back at the pictures and remember...the school was different then. I'm happy here...I've found home...I haven't quite found myself yet but it's all good... I got a couple more years to go to find myself.
I got a game today...we'll see, hopefully I don't cough up a lung...

Song of the moment: "Sky is the limit" Notorious BIG f/112

Lyrics: "Sky is the limit and u know that u keep on, just keep on pressing on...sky is the limit and u know u can have what u want, be what u want...be what u want..."

Mood: Wondering...pondering...just straight thinking

It's weird...my bosses weren't in today. I must have spent the whole hour wondering where they were at. There was a conference in the conference room so I couldn't go in there and check. Princy wasn't in her office. Both of the doors were locked. I had to go through payroll to get in the office. I did a couple things that they left out for me to do but they never showed up. I know Grace and Desie came in today. Grace had her fresh cup of coffee and milk sitting out. Desie's radio was playing. I don' t know but that really tripped me out...
I came back here early...11am...I guess that's kewl to be back early but I guess it's a jip to me getting 3 hours less this week than I usually do. Oh well...smaller paycheck. Eeek!
I feel weird lately...like something is missing. I can't quite put my finger on it but it's there lying deep within my closed heart right now. Small things are chipping away at it's boney exterior...like today, someone made me smile. Some random guy in Anderson today was getting into the elevator as I was passing by. I couldn't really hear him cuz I had my headphones on but I saw him gesturing to me...I took off one ear phone in time to hear him say, "Beautiful! Absolutely gorgeous!" Man, that made my day...it may have been from a random guy but still...it makes u feel good that at least someone notices ur existence. With everyone practically being hooked up w/someone else in my life, I just feel a lil left out at times. Oh well, I'm content with being single...or rather, I keep telling myself that. *sigh* haha, no, really, I'm content...well, gtg now...eating lunch with Gabe...*muahs* to all

Damn...I just realized that there was something I wrote but wasn't suppose to publish on my blog...hopefully no one read it but with my luck, someone did...=S OH NO!!!

I went to mom's place today...it was beautifully decorated with red heart balloons and one that said happy birthday...flowers galore...red, pink and white...I kneeled down by her side and I swear my eyes were ready to tear up. I had to leave...if I stayed any longer I knew I would have broken down. I'M HURTING WITHOUT U, MOM! but I guess, that's a given.
I'm totally out of it right now, u wouldn't believe...I think it's a combo of cold meds and just stuff. I wasted a weekend...so unproductive! All I did was shop and go out and bake...oh well, new wardrobe...get my mind off things. I might as well look good if I'm going to be having weird ass shiz to do this week. I don't wanna think...but no way around it. The more I don't wanna think about it...the more I do...does that makes sense?
I picked up some pix this weekend...it was xmas pix, new year's eve pix, and random floor pix. Reminiscing of my Birthday get together in December...that was fun...disappointing but fun. I remember picking up Hoosie in LB and then sleeping over at Aiza's (who just happens to live down the street now). That was cool...watching movies til like 4 in da morn...That was awesome! I watched part of Monster's inc...cute ass movie! The New Year's eve pix was a good reminder of the night I spent with my niece and nephew. Marissa, the eldest, I love her to death. she is the only niece that I really know of. I think I have one on my mom's side but she's still a baby and in the PI. Marissa and I are close now...I'm happy about that. We were at my aunt's house that whole night just watching movies or tv...Reggie, or Tristan, whichever u choose to call him...he's adorable but sometimes he is too much to handle. I still feel bad about his situation with his mother and stuff...I never really was able to get close to him until we went out to Disneyland back in November. I remember holding his hand everywhere...carrying him piggy back and putting him up on my shoulders to watch the parade cuz he couldn't see. I still remember the look on his face when I gave him that mini skateboard for xmas...him and his lil bro, EJ, were so happy. It felt soooo good inside! *sigh*...I don't know about that...just completely out if it...I need to get out of here

Song of the moment: "When you think about me" one voice...oh, man...seriously...

Lyrics: "i knoe u want meeh
i got yo mind paralyzed
is it the infatuation that keepz u awake at nite?

when you tink about meeh
do u tink bout us
fallin in love
do u wanna get
wit meeh
wit meeh
do you tink about meeh (tell meeh tell meeh)
do u tink bout us
and makin love
do u wanna get
wit meeh
wit meeh

when u sleep at nite
does monica star in yo dreamz
are you tinkin of meeh all da tyme
or does it mean
do u fantasize
to yo surprise dere i am
makin you realize
deep inside u wanna be mah man
are you still playin childish gaymez
or all grown up
because mah appetite sayz
too much is not enuf

im curious
and i dont need to make a fuss
but i tink bout u
do u tink bout us


tell meeh
do you tink bout..
(meeh...)
when you daydream does sweet marie
stay on yo mind
or do you find yoself wishin u were here by mah side
do u wanna have responsible to get meeh a vote
dont jus hit meeh on da pager or mah cell telefone
when u at da klub
is dere noone else dat turnz u on
da way you lookin at meeh
i kan tell u wanna get it on
im curious
and i wanna feel
da heat of yo touch
i tink bout u
do u tink bout us



all day i wanna do
spend mah tyme wit u
all nite i know u wanna get wit meeh 2
do u tink of meeh da way dat i tink about u
u conserve(??) meeh like nobodie else kan do
when u tink bout meeh..
when u tink bout meeh...
tell meeh
tell meeh
when u tink bout meeh
do u tink bout us
tell meeh tell meeh"

Quote of the moment: 1 Corinthians 10:31-11:1
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God. Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, just as I try to please Everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, so that they may be saved. Be Imitators of me, as I am of Christ.

Mood of the moment: *sigh* I can't even figure it out