It's a wednesday afternoon...I'm sitting here at my laptop wondering what the hell I am doing...It's been weighing on my mind for so long lately that I thought it was about time I said something about it. Where is this life of mine going? haha...seriously, don't u just wonder where it is all headed? Yeah, you can plan things but will they really happen? Will you really achieve it all? It hits me at the oddest times...mostly when I'm in a good mood. Perhaps it's a reminder that nothing is solid. Nothing is going to stay forever...stay the same or just stay in your life. I don't want to go four or plus years in college just to find out the day I graduate that I haven't learned anything...that I have worked hard, slacked off, paid so much money just to have a piece of paper that READS I have learned this much at this school...but in reality, I know what I know...no test can measure that and no piece of paper can convey that. The only way it can all be conveyed is when and if I choose to release my knowledge out into the world. I want to come to school for the sake of learning. I love my Com. Stud. class! I don't like atmo. sci. I liked my LS 1 class! I didn't like basic chemistry at all. Give me numbers to crunch and I'll do it. Whether my answer is right (fine) or wrong (teach me to do it correctly.) Don't use some TEST that is suppose to measure my knowledge when all it does is turn myself against the subject as a whole. I know somethings better than others...I know more than some people and some people know more than me. But what's book knowledge when u have no street smarts? Being erudite isn't everything. When you live in LA, anything is possible. That's what I believe...maybe one day I'll be discovered to do some modeling or acting or singing or whatever may come my way. Maybe I'll start a company in the future and nothing i learned previously doesn't matter at all. Yea, I have hope right now but it dwindles slowly away with each boring lecture that doesn't create any sense of "home" in me. I find joy in learning a new song...learning more about how my mind set works...the 10 step model! LoL I gots me by the horns right now...I have no strong hold with it at all. With Valentine's Day coming around, I see myself spending it alone, which is cool cuz I accept it now but it would be nice to have someone at the door with a card that just simply says, "happy valentine's day" Mom's birthday is on Valentine's day...She would have been 53. *sigh* reality has it's funny way of setting in...right now...Damn! I'm just not here right now so I'm going to go sit down and just ponder the many wonders that's going on in my life before the chaos of fifth week hits me even harder. HAHA, next week is going to be horrible!!! You'll find out later
Song of the moment: "Biggest part of me" Brian Mcknight
lyrics:
If you've ever had a broken heart,
You promise yourself to never let it happen again.
Don't wanna think about it.
Don't wanna dream about it,
But it finds its way back into your head.
The "I love you's, I need you's"
Are only words that people say,
They're just words, when they're hand in hand,
With the games that people play, but,
If I ever see the top of the mountain,
If never step my foot in the sea.
I promise you I love you forever,
You'll always be the biggest part of me.
Where ever you are, whatever you do I will follow,
You've changed the way that I used to think.
I promise you I'll love you forever,
You'll always be the biggest part of me.
Take a look at me, I let you have my heart.
I swore I'd never let it happen again.
I'm not mad about it, I'm kinda glad about it,
Cause I know that with you girl, I can depend.
I love you, I need you,
Are only words that people say.
They're just words, when they're hand in hand,
With the games that people play, but,
If I ever see the top of the mountain,
If never step my foot in the sea.
I promise you I love you forever,
You'll always be the biggest part of me.
Where ever you are, whatever you do I will follow,
You've changed the way that I used to think.
I promise you I'll love you forever,
You'll always be the biggest part of me.
I believe, yes I believe,
I believe in love again,
And I swear, I'll always be there.
Isn't this the way that it should be, and,
If I ever see the top of the mountain,
If never step my foot in the sea.
I promise you I love you forever,
You'll always be the biggest part of me.
Where ever you are, whatever you do I will follow,
You've changed the way that I used to think.
I promise you I'll love you forever,
You'll always be the biggest part of me.
Quote of the moment: "Oh, I'm sorry, i was lookin' at your boobies..." ~Random moment with Anthony (and Ashley and Trevor)
"You always look so cute!"~Sherry after running into her at LS building while at work
Mood: Annoyed by my phone (or phone service) can't get my voice mail ARGGGHH!!!
