It's about 11:30 pm right now...just chillin on my bed about to go to sleep cuz I gotta wake up early and meet up with Chrisma to get our tix to the 'SC game. YEA, MY FIRST SC GAME!!! I guess all the hype in high school about this key and huge ass game finally got to me. I am kinda scared though...I might run into someone that I don't wanna see...yes, I mean Jorge. ICK! It's not like I have any real bad blood against him anymore...I mean he's happy with Adriana...I'm kewl with that. I just hate being lied to and all...it hurt me. ::sigh:: Cuz of him, Disneyland will never be the same. Happiest place on Earth, MY ASS!!! haha LoL. No, I've created new memories to cherish at Disneyland...though his memories still kill me! Whatever, past-over-done with!

I was reading some of my friend's profiles today...two has new gf's and one has lyrics from a song I truly adore, "never again" by justin timberlake. Man, got me thinking again...how come he and I never hooked up when we seem really similar but different at the same time. We like the same taste in music and he's so poetic...No, he's not gay just a romantic. My other two friends who got gfs now...one seems unlikely to have a gf and the other seems really unlikely to stay with one girl at a time. I guess it's just me longing for a GOOD relationship that causes me to dwell on such matters as these lil things. No relationships...no drama for a while, or at least I am trying not to. I learned my lesson the first times...blah. College, a time to find who u are and where ur headed...that's my first mission. Love will come later, I suppose.

I got my women's studies midterm back...disappointed in the grade and I don't understand why I got the grade I did. Doesn't make sense...oh well, I guess I gotta crack my ass and do more studying for once.

It rained today...it felt good. To walk in the rain and just be free. It reminded me of the movie I saw yesterday, Casablanca, and the song, "as time goes by". ::sigh:: "Here's lookin' at u, kid"...if I could have one dance to that song...in the rain...or one moment that just clicks-WOW! I went played ball at Pauley today...yes, PAULEY PAVILLION! haha It may mean nothing to some people, but it means a lot to me. I haven't been on a court for over two years...I mean a real court. That one time at Reiber with the guys from my floor doesn't count right now. It wasn't an organized game. This one was...Art asked me a couple days to go play cuz he heard from Lady that I played in high school. Such a distant memory now...but yes, I did play. I loved the game not as much as the way I fell in love with tennis but yea, there is a special place for that game in my heart. It's the first game my daddy actually played with me. Yea, sorta like a "father of the bride" type thing...except it also included my brother. I still remember that my dad taught me incorrectly how to shoot cuz he uses two hands...when ur suppose to only use one. My crazy father turning his hat backwards before he shoots...yes, that's my daddy! I love the hell out of him...I'll always be daddy's lil girl...anyways, I digress again. I played ball with Carla, Genevieve (art's cousin), Melody, Charles, Darwin, Art, and Plfft...oh wait, I forgot Josh and Carl. I'm an idiot...I have learned not to eat too much seafood before playing any sport...haha. Yea, I don't know who we played but we lost but I had sooooo much fun. Picking up a ball and shooting...::sigh:: those were the days. I busted a three...I think that was as much as I did for our team hahaha. It was crazy hearing from people that "ur good." I don't know...I thought I played shitty as hell but if u say so...hahaha. I guess I'm just hella out of shape but I still have my aggressiveness in me. I think it made my day hearing from Art, Genevieve, and Carla: "You're really good." ::SMILE:: haha yea, I think I should pick up sports again but first comes school.

GirlsGotKooties: you're dope dude... how come you didn't play with us earlier

ToTL Pinay: no one asked and plus, I sucked...whatcha talking about

GirlsGotKooties: dang
GirlsGotKooties: you don't suck
GirlsGotKooties: trust me
GirlsGotKooties: you don't need to score like a gabazillion points to be good

GirlsGotKooties: yeah... i suck
GirlsGotKooties: also

ToTL Pinay: naw, u don't
ToTL Pinay: i miss playing ball

I don't know why, but I'm putting this on here cuz it made me smile. I went into Anthony's room holding my black satin pillow. And he asked to see it...so I handed it to him. He handed me one of his other pillows. I told him that I was buying the material for his pillow this weekend and he said, "really? Sheena you're the greatest." ::SMILE AGAIN:: Yea, don't know...I just like hearing that every once and a while. I think everyone should. ::sigh:: yea, after weird things lately, a comment like that works hahaha.

Rose, Aiz, and I talked about our jobs...YES, WE ALL HAVE JOBS. Wow, no more depending on mommy and daddy. LoL. Yea, Rose and I shared our lil office adventures. She doesn't like being an office whore (no, not in that sense...she doesn't like being passed around the office for certain task...she wants a solid job area I guess) I don't mind that much being passed from Grace to Dessie to Princy and back to Grace...it's not that bad. LoL...I'm kewl with all them. I like my job...great pay...hours are alright...bosses are the best. What more can I ask for? Yea...I gotta enjoy this lenient days.

THREE DAY WEEKEND!!! Yes, time for relaxation...baking...sewing...organizing...and studying...time for time!!! LoL Gotta run errands, look for a dress, shoes, hair and nail places...yea, the whole nine yards! Sleeping in MY BED...in MY ROOM...IN MY HOUSE. Yea, it's been a while since I been home. Yea, Next week is the gala...::takes in a big breath:: may everything go nicely. I gotta figure out the plan of the day. U k now me, gotta be organized. Figure out what time to get my hair done...nails done...take pix with the girls, drive to ucla, pick up ryan, go to the gala, hang out somewhere, drive back to ucla, drop him off, drive home...yea...LONG DAY-->apparently!!! LoL NEW MEMORIES...that's what I live for. Just to live life and enjoy it. ::toasts:: here's to a great year with great people on a great floor.

Off to bed...must sleep...must dream good dreams...must believe that tmw will be great.

Song playing on the 'ol mp3 player right now: "Best of me" (remix) Mya f/jay-z

Quote of the moment: "Sheena, you're the greatest!" ~Anthony

Mood-Gitty

neways, after taking a nice somewhat lengthy shower...I have new thoughts again!!! Actually, just random shit that I wanna put out there. Aiza, Rose,and I just heard something...like I don't know, moaning and groaning I suppose. Gross! That's the second time I have heard stuff like that! Maybe they're not getting it on...but yea, doesn't erase the last time. Anyways, stuff is stacking on me and I just don't care like usual. If it isn't due tmw, why do it tonight? haha Yea, I got to get rid of that habit. I'm in bed now...chillin and thinking to myself, listening to "you are so beautiful"...just having a nice flashback into my childhood. BLAH...y am i writing still? I have nothing to say!!!

hours and hours, u stay on my mind...I search high and low, yet u, I still can't find...searching the depths of this incomplete heart...yearning for u, but I don't know where to start...can't stop the madness, this is what it has lead to...can't deny these feelings, it's lead straight to u...I can't forget u, can't repress u...gotta have u, gotta be with u...

what the hell was that??? haha I don't know more randomness I suppose

song of the moment: seriously playing on my winamp is "sana maulit muli" regine velasquez...yes, it is in tagalog. Different from usual music since it's in tagalog but I understand her depth of the song meaning. If u don't know tagalog, get it translated and listen to it in tagalog...it's so moving.

quote of the moment: "kung kayo kong iwanan ka...sana lalapit pa...mahal parin kita..." Don't ask if I spelled that right, cuz I aint' fluent!!!

Lately I have been in bed when I write my blog entries...but today, I'm at my desk, straightening my visor, adjusting my halter top...staring at the screen wondering what is going to spring from my fingertips. I guess I have a lot of things on my mind that need to be sorted and right now, they are all mixed up in my brain **scramble scramble** hahaha...I wonder why I bottle up things when they bother me...y can't I just say what I mean at the exact moment I say them. **whoa** sorry, had a You've got mail moment...::sigh:: wow, can't believe that use to be my favorite movie. But anyways, I truly do digress. I don't understand why I hide myself behind all these activities...I guess I don't like to face my fears. Who isn't, am I right? Yea, well...more growing up for me to do, I suppose.

Rose dl'd "A Walk To Remember" last nite...yea, I look back at the first time I saw it and remember how it made me tear up and hit a chord in me that has been struck before: a saddening moment when u lose a loved one. In this case, both a parent and a significant other. The song that Mandy Moore sings, "Only Hope", makes me feel so alive inside. It is as if I am on the stage singing it myself...having that ONE SPECIAL SOMEONE stare at me in amazement. I know my voice is not that great...but just once, to have that feeling that they are amazed by this angelic voice whose song moves a part of them that they never knew could live this way...to feel this way...to just be. I cringe at the thought that this may never come true in my life but at the same time I wait in anticipation for that one moment...that one moment where i know everything is going to be unbelievable. Hopeless romantic, it is what I have become and what I am destined to be. When I find that right guy...I'll know it. Whether I'll meet him this year...tmw...in five mins...who knows. I have made it a goal for myself to go on at least TWO dates this year. One is happening for sure...even though it's not a Date-date...it's a date nonetheless. Yea, I am talking about the gala and Ryan. I want a REAL date-date...with someone who is interested just a TAD...can be DORMAL, can be a study date...dinner...who knows and who cares. Spread my wings this year and open myself to the old Sheena. The happy go lucky girl who use to carry her heart on her sleeve and opened herself up to everyone not letting things get to her. The Pre-Jorge and Will era. The girl that use to cling to Mike and allow herself to get engulfed in love's bliss. The playful girl that made cookies for Gabe. The girl I was before all the bitterness of relationships. I know she is in there somewhere just waiting to emerge. It's lonely without someone here at UCLA. I see it all the time...couples, that is. It doesn't bother me as much but it does make me crave for affection. Or maybe it is just attention?!?!?! I don't know. I crave for something different this year, that's about all I know. I may not deserve it but I do wish for it. I want my PRINCE!!! hahaha

Anyways, today I got my midterm back for Film class...not exactly the grade I was going for. Made me sad! We watched Casablanca today. It is a movie I have heard much about but never knew of its many references. Now I know what, "here's looking at you, kid!"; "Of all the bars, of all the places, she had to walk into mine...."; "Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship." I think I screwed up those lines but just watching that movie and seeing "Rick" give up the girl for another guy...giving up happiness with the girl of his dreams...just made my eyes water and my heart jump. If I was him, I would had never let them go...no matter the circumstance. I would love him too much to let go...you'd have to pry them from my dead clammy hands. OKAY, not that difficult but u get the point. I still believe that there is that ONE person out there...I just don't want to think about what happens if u have them in ur life and u let them go. How will u ever live with urself? I couldn't possibly do that. U COMPLETE ME!!! ::Sigh:: "play it again, Sam...for old time's sake?"

"If u must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh...the fundamental things that fly, as time goes by...and when two lovers wooo, they still say I love u, on that u can rely. No matter what the future brings, as time goes by."

OH yea, Sam...play it once more...I know u remember it!!! If things were only that simple. To go back without remembering the bad. To move forward knowing that u are safe...nothing bad will come ur way. U just gotta roll with the punches...it may knock u down, but u gotta get right back up and do it all over again.

song of the moment: "as time goes by" louis armstrong

Quote of the moment: "here's lookin at u, kid."

Mood: weary

Okay...for some reason the entry I made yesterday did not post...stupid internet...but here goes nothing

Saturday's lil family get together was sooooo much fun...seeing my cousins do things that I did not know that they did blew my mind but at the same time drew me closer to them. Hit after hit...and I just sat there lol...yea, my clothes wreak!!!

Sunday's family trip to Disneyland was fun! I haven't been there since grad nite I believe. Yea, that night was very blurry hahaha...right, Gabe? J/P Neways...the aunts, uncles, niece, nephews, and cousins...the whole gang of us. Spending time with my nine year old niece, Marissa, riding the rides with her and being "glowstick anklet buddies". Watching and hanging out with the middle child, Tristan, for once he was not shy and not wanting or able to do anything. He was buck wild! I had to carry him on my shoulder although he was really heavy but it was nice...simply nice! And EJ...the baby...Arnel Jr. hahha was the cutest bundle of joy as usual. My dad seemed to cling to him all day...is that a sign from my dad to my brother and I about grand kids? LoL Yea, I saw Elijah would chilling on Main street...he looked so gay but was cool nonetheless to see him. I bought three mickey ears, two blue and one pink...got INVID on the back of em and gave them to Moniqua, Ryan, and Anthony. ::sigh:: yea, that will never be forgotten from this moment on. I'm just soooo out there right now...me sleep now!

song of the moment: "only hope" mandy moore

mood of the moment: smiley hahaha